Sunday, June 20, 2010

Stress, and lots of it!

The school holidays start at the end of this week, finally! I haven't had a break since February or something; I spent all of the term 1 holidays studying, catching up on the 7 weeks of work I had missed. I'm seeing a friend and going to a movie on the 3rd of July, and there's the Class of 2009 reunion towards the end of the month, so I need to go shopping on the holidays and find a blazer, because, at 19, I don't think I'll fit in wearing a hoodie! But I'll still wear my jeans, lol. I really need a rest, though. I'm completely exhausted.

I think I should move my specialist appointment to a closer date, because the 19th of July is too far away. We need to work out a compromise on my sleep, and therefore my pain. I find it hard to believe that in the 21st century doctors can only treat nausea with Ondansetron, provided you use it very sparingly. I need my other symptoms treated, and not with Melatonin! It doesn't work, no matter how high or low the dose is!!

Maths tutoring:
My tutor rang about half an hour before tutoring was due to start, to say that she couldn't make it, as something really urgent had suddenly come up. (She works as a dentist now, and has been tutoring me since I was 13. I'm lucky she makes the time each week to tutor me!) I didn't think it would be a problem until after I spent 3.5hrs revising antidifferentiation, and realised that I was having a lot more trouble with this Unit than I had originally thought. I tried to start the work for Week 2, but it's just too hard for me to understand what is written in my coursebook; I need someone to go through the examples, and explain how it works and why I need to do each step.

I realised about an hour ago that I'll be so busy this week that I won't be able to start my homework until Thursday evening (my tutor is coming over at about 6.30pm) and it's due Friday. That means tutoring will finish at around 9pm, and then I need to study for at least 2.5hrs to do my homework. So I won't be finished until about 11.30pm or midnight.

Unfortunately, because I study via distance education, it takes at least 24 hours for my homework to arrive. I was sent an email last month saying that if you don't have all your homework in before the holidays, the work may not be marked. But I don't think my homework arriving on Monday as opposed to the previous Friday will make a lot of difference, particularly if I let my teacher know. I can't do it on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, either; I have appointments on Monday (two of them) and a personal training session on Wednesday, so I'll obviously have to rest and try to sleep on Tuesday. I also have an appointment on Friday, so I can't do the rest of my homework then, unless I cut out a lot of sleep, take Ondansetron and a lot of painkillers. Not a pleasant option. And I'm feeling really exhausted and sick every day. Today was the one day I felt able to study!

Stress and anxiety...
Does anyone have any tips on how to cope?

Year 12 is the most stressful and anxiety-inducing experience I've ever encountered, particularly given my M.E.! There are just so many things to worry about, and my specialist is telling me one visit to drop out, and the next to get a part time job soon! I honestly think doctors talk nonsense when they're at a loss for what to say or do.

Also, if anyone else has sleep problems similar to mine, have you found any medications that helped or worked?

I guess that's it for now, I'll probably have more to write later in the week. Thanks so much for the comments, it's great to know that other people are reading this! Any and all positive comments/feedback are most welcome. =D


  1. Hey Alex - after getting your comment just then I realised I never comment your blog, but I do read it, just letting you know x

  2. Hi Natalie! I didn't know you read my blog, thanks! I figured you'd find it boring... Most people have a life. =P

  3. I love the new look. Or am I just forgetting that is was this way?

    School is most definitely stressful. I can't offer you any help there. I prayed every day when I did my BA. It always seemed things came up at the last minute like a crash and I was scrambling to get things done.

    Hang in there! BTW - how much longer do you have until you are finished?

  4. Nope, it's a really different look. Blogger put up heaps of new templates and backgrounds, and I changed the font a little! Thanks, I like it too. =D

    If I improve enough (ie. get 5hrs' sleep between 10.30pm and 7am) to go back to school, I have orientation in November, and I choose my subjects before. (I'm thinking English Lit and History: Revolutions.) Then I study those two subjects next year, and if I can complete them, I've graduated high school by December next year!! Then it's on to uni, to study Arts. (There's really only one uni I can attend that I can get to with my M.E. AND offers Law, but it's the best in the state. I'd better get good marks!)

    I can't wait until HSC is over; I hate being reduced to a number. I'd rather study subjects I want to, like Latin or Dutch at uni, than be forced to study Maths in case I have to be an accountant! I think I'll improve when I graduate, because from the second you start at my school it's ingrained into you that you ARE your score, and it will DEFINE your WHOLE life. Scary for a 12 year old, never mind a really sick 19 year old!

    Thanks for all your support everyone! x

  5. Hi Alex.

    I'm currently studying for my degree (I've finished for the summer now) and I'm in my final year- very, very stressful!

    I have an learning facilator that takes notes for me and carries my bags, opens doors etc. I also qualified for Disabled Student Alowence, which meant I had an assessment for equipment to help me study. Is there anything like that for you?

    Cope with what you feel you can cope with. Getting a job is probably not a great idea right now! I've found schedualing regular breaks is a good idea when reading/writing essays. I do work for 20 mins then take a 15 minute break. Try not to think about the future (I know that's a hard thing to do!), just think about what you can achieve right now.

  6. I can qualify for assistance at uni - a scribe, etc. but at high school, you're on your own. (Unless you have a severe learning disability, then you get an integration aide.) And it's not like classmates can help, it's Year 12, so they're carrying a 1.5kg laptop and at least 10 books/folders/notebooks. So I just drag myself up and down those stairs carrying my books and laptop so many times a day I lose count! (I still can't wait to be back at a real school, with people. And teachers. And hopefully I'll make friends!)

    I CAN'T WAIT FOR UNI!!! I can study what I want, I can get help when I need it, and my score will be assessed in light of my marks before I was this sick (straight A+'s) and as a disabled person, I get a priority government-supported place. In other words, I don't pay until I earn x amount per annum. WIN!

    Good luck with your final year, I hope you do really well. Thanks for the tips, I definitely wouldn't be getting a job until I'm well enough for full time uni! Because it's maths I'm studying this year, and my memory is really bad, I have to study for 6hrs straight to get my week's work done. Then I am free for the whole week. It's painful and exhausting, but it's the only way to keep the concepts in my head and complete the homework!

    Thanks for all the advice and support, everyone! x