Monday, October 25, 2010


Remember in a recent post I mentioned that I'd bought a summery dress among other things? Well, here are the pictures of the things I bought that day! In addition to the coral cardi, I also got a white one. =)
Summery, floral dress which is super comfy!
I'll wear it at Christmas, if weather permits. <3
Coral cardi with 3/4 length sleeves.
A vibrant colour that makes all my
outfits look much brighter! Purple
looks great with coral.

I exchanged my faulty wallet for this one; it has a lovely
design on the front, closes more securely, and has
plenty of space for doctor's cards/reward cards, etc.
I think I chose the
one on the right
 A trip to a shopping precinct!
My completed manicure!

I went for a manicure the other day (Mum thought I needed cheering up after being ill for so long.) I chose a nice, shimmery, glittery colour, a sort of lightish shade. Unfortunately, I chipped it a bit on one nail, but you can hardly tell. I ordered the nail polish in, as well as the one I had for my last manicure, OPI's 'Merry Midnight', which is a lovely purple with sort of copper flakes and sparkles. (Yup, I really like sparkly and glittery things!)

After the manicure I went to look at a few stores. I found two things: a green long top/dress, to be worn with leggings, and a beautiful silvery sequined top that I could wear to, say, a party, with nice flats and dark blue jeans. It needs to be altered, though. I'm short, have unusually narrow shoulders (so it's falling off my shoulders) and I have child-sized feet! It's impossible to find me clothes. Anyway, I'm too ill to really "dress up", like most girls. To put on a formal dress and sky high heels would exhaust me so much that I'd never get to the party! (And I can't walk in heels, lulz.) So, pics!
My silver, sequined top. I never show my
upper arms; I only wear tops or dresses
that have sleeves, but this is lovely!
I'll use it for more "dressy" occasions.

Green top/dress, which I'll wear with black
3/4 length leggings. It's the perfect item
for spring/summer, and it's comfortable!



Then we went to another local shopping precinct, 'cause Mum needed to pick something up from a clothes store. I found some lovely spring/summer pajamas at a store, as well as super comfy cargo pants. (Adjustable elastic waistband FTW!) One set of pajamas came with a top that didn't fit, so I've layered it with a plain white t-shirt, and it looks pretty.
I went to another store, a really cheap one, and found a super loose, yet comfy t-shirt which is ideal for study or just lounging around the house.
There was a special on singlets at another store, so I got 2 white ones, a light blue one, and a black one, naturally to be worn under things! ... PICS!
Pajamas with alternative top.
Second set of pajamas.
White t-shirt with pajama top that doesn't fit
layered over it.
Do you think it'd look
good as an everyday outfit?

Loose, comfy t-shirt I got for $10 at Cotton On.

The singlets from Dotti: 1 black, 2 white, 1 aqua


Thanks for reading! I'd love feedback! What sorts of things do you wear in summer to keep cool, but also feel comfortable? Any opinions on the grey/silver singlet I've layered with the white t-shirt? Aussies: where's a good place to find reasonable priced t-shirts with pretty designs, or some loose t-shirts? =)

Hope you're all as well as possible. Alex. xoxo


Hi all!
It's past midnight on Monday as I'm writing this, but as I'm wide awake, I figured I'd write a blog post.

Maths, Study & Revision:
On Saturday I had maths tutoring from 2pm-5.30pm, then studied from 5.40pm-8.50pm. I rested in bed until midnight, when I got up and decided to revise some more, and specifically, to complete all my required cheatsheets. So I worked until 3am when I developed terrible nausea (which needed Ondansetron) and a shocking headache, which became a migraine later.

I can justify writing this post because: I have completed every cheatsheet for my maths bound reference.

All that's left is a cheatsheet with examples of how to draw various graphs, etc. and choosing which solutions from past paper exams to include. I also have to ask my teacher to come out to my house to help me with my calculator; often, when I try to solve complex equations, I get an answer like: 72e^4x@5. Which is of no help whatsoever!

Terrible luck!
On Saturday 16/10, I woke with a terrible headache, and later developed severe nausea which required Ondansetron. I still completed maths tutoring and studied, but the next day I woke with a terrible virus: cough, aches, pains, fever, chills, runny/blocked nose and an upset stomach. I lost 2kg in 3 days, simply because I couldn't eat! I felt better on Friday 22/10, and had tutoring on Saturday, as previously mentioned.

Unfortunately, today I feel worse. I'd say it's a combination of things: no sleep until 8am on Sunday, due to the migraine, getting only 4hrs broken sleep, still slowly recovering from the virus, and switching meds. So the entire week I was incredibly ill, (bed bound & requiring help to move from one room to another) I was unable to do any study. Which is why I compensated by studying for 9hrs on Saturday, as mentioned above.

Unfortunately, the marathon study session means that I'll be incredibly exhausted for quite a while, but I must press on; I have many past paper exams to do. My real exams are on the 05/11/10 and the 08/11/10.

MS Contin wasn't working very well, even at 40mg twice a day, so my doctor has switched me to OxyNorm. Would you believe that anorexia is a very common side effect of OxyNorm?! I'm already at risk, due to my disordered eating, (apparently) severely distorted body image, and my history. I went through a stage of "starving" myself. And I lost 12kgs in 8 weeks. So I think my Mum will be watching me, because although I want to get into shape, (which is impossible when I'm this ill) I don't need another illness, or more complications, or more doctors! I've been on it for a few days, and I think I'll need a higher dose; 10mg twice daily just isn't cutting it. But it's 100000000x better than MS Contin!! If only they'd give me something to sleep! ALEX. NEEDS. SLEEP. (It's nearly 4am! ... This is an edit.)
I think I'll write a second post so that these are easier to read. Please comment, if you feel so inclined; I love feedback, and it cheers me up when I'm stuck in bed to see an email saying "new comment" =) Take care. xoxo

Friday, October 15, 2010


I'm back!
I was finally able to log on to my laptop for the first time in ages. (Seriously, the last time I could use it was when I wrote the previous blog post!) So, I guess an update first, right? Here goes:
  • The goLITEBLU*** was a disaster. After two migraines that lasted 7-10 days, my sleep clinician said to try the goLITEBLU again, but if I got another long migraine, then I shouldn't keep using it. So I tried it.
  • After 4 days of a migraine, my Mum decided to take me to the ER. (I didn't want to go, as I figured they wouldn't help me if MS Contin wasn't working.) I spent hours curled up on a couch, (not at a children's hospital anymore >.<) before I finally got seen by a doctor and was given a bed. I had to fight for morphine, they wanted to give me Largactil, but that causes me HEADACHES!! So I had IV re-hydration, an injection of morphine and an injection of Ondansetron. After 9hrs in the ER, including wait time, (at a private hospital!) I went home. I had McDonald's drive through on the way back, to celebrate being migraine free for the first time in nearly 2wks! ^.^
  • I'm no longer using the goLITEBLU. I can't believe the sleep clinician didn't even ask if there was a family history of migraines before telling me to use it. (The brochure warns of initial nausea and headaches.) There's migraines on both sides of the family, plus my Mum, my father, younger brother and I get them!
  • I got a virus the next day, (Wed, 06/10/10) so I was on bed rest for the next 5 days. Except for the Saturday, (09/10/10) when I had 3hrs of maths tutoring. I couldn't stick to my sleep routine, let alone sleep hygiene when I felt so ill!
This is really worrying me.
I'm becoming more disabled each day. I wasn't able to study until this Wednesday, and I sat my 2 hour 20mins practice exam. (Not incl. reading time of 15mins!) I finished in the allotted time, felt I couldn't take any breaks, and didn't move from the same position the whole time. It's what I do when I'm hyper-stressed. So, of course, I finish, correct it (and find I got a damn good score, considering I can barely study) and then move. And I nearly collapsed! My whole back and neck had seized up and were intensely painful, plus my left hand was cramping and shaking. I wish I could sit my maths exams on laptops; I never felt this bad after my German practice exams/real exams last year! So I had a really hot shower, which helped my chills and pain, plus I wasn't feeling so much like I had the flu by then.

I seem to feel like I've been hit with a flu as soon as I've pushed too far past my limits. It's scary; I worry every time it happens that it's an actual flu or virus! I've barely been able to get out of bed this past week. And small things, like helping out by making food for my Mum and younger brother, (they've both had a terrible flu until today) or getting myself dressed make me absolutely exhausted, dizzy and weak. And not my normal level of exhaustion; this is the sort of exhaustion that makes me wonder if I can keep living, or if I'll just end up trapped in bed. Forever.

These illnesses, their severity, and the fact that virtually no one believes that Fibromyalgia or ME/CFS exist, all terrify me. If people understood, my life would almost be worth living.

More study. Ew.
It's past 1am on Friday now, and today I really need to do cheatsheets for Linear, Quadratics, Cubics/Quartics, Higher Order Polynomials/Gallery of Graphs. I can use bits and pieces from older cheatsheets, but I do need to do a Quadratics one from scratch, and maybe redo the Linear and Cubics/Quartics one.

... But I also want need to escape my bed, and go out. I hate being sick! Words can't describe it anymore. Hm... I really, desperately need to get my fringe cut, so maybe I could look at a few stores after? I'd rather do that than wind up in heaps of pain 'cause I studied too much!

***The goLITEBLU is meant to regulate your body clock, so you sleep, wake, and eat at normal times. It also should make you "happy and energetic." It's given me migraines, Ondansetron-worthy nausea, and made me so sleepy that I've had to triple my dose of wakefulness meds, on my doctor's orders. It also made me starving all day long, but then made me feel sick as soon as I ate.

Thanks for reading! I hope I improve soon, so I can study, and maybe even blog. I'm dying to take pics and post them. (Pics of my recent purchases, including a summer-y dress!)
Alex. xoxo

Friday, October 1, 2010

I'm not dead... Yet!

Hi everyone!
It's been quite a while since I last blogged, and to be honest, I haven't used my laptop for nearly a fortnight. I decided to use it tonight basically because I wanted to watch a movie, and I was too tired to sit in the lounge room. I've had a headache since Saturday, and when I rang both of my doctors the other day, they said I could stay in bed and sleep whenever I needed to, until this headache goes away. I also don't have to use the blue light while the headache is here, either. There's something that's odd/worrying: no one has ever heard of severe ongoing headaches and nausea being side effects of using a goLITEBLU, or incredible sleepiness. I've had to up my wakefulness meds twice simply to keep myself awake after using the blue light! The sleep clinician said if I get another headache like this, (ie. longer than one day and no painkillers work) then we'll have to stop the blue light treatment. I think they're worried... =|

An outing!!
I did manage to go out on Sunday. You know my wallet I got? The one I posted pics of in the last post? Well, it broke. So I took it back, exchanged it for another one, and bought some clothes, too. I got a pretty summery dress! I'll take some pics and post them when I'm feeling better, though. Guess what? I got a great wallet; I chose a black one, a different style, one that was more solid, then went to look at clothes. When they were putting through my purchases, they put a brown wallet in the box. I didn't notice until I got home! So I'm waiting until Mum has time to go back and swap it... I am so lucky I kept my old wallet, otherwise I'd be without one!

A short health update:
I'm feeling sicker and more drained with each passing day. My sleep is getting worse, and I'm needing more. Of course, I'm not allowed to get the sleep I need; I have to go to bed at 3.30am, or 2am at the earliest, and get up at 12.30pm. Currently, I need 12hrs in bed to avoid intense pain and nausea. So I'm annoyed. And this headache has me in a worse mood than usual!

I hate distance education. So. Much.
My homework for this week and next week hasn't arrived. I've contacted my distance education teacher 3 times, and she hasn't responded. I'll work on my cheatsheets as soon as my head is better, and maybe work through some Checkpoints questions. But if I'm too sick to complete the practice exams, whenever they get sent out, it's not my fault. They can't fail me, and it's their problem. So there.

What is wrong with this country?!
I had maths tutoring while the AFL Grand Final was on last Saturday, and it was a draw!! I think that's the third time it's happened. Ever. So there's a "replay" (rematch) this Saturday, and my tutor can't come, so I'll probs watch it. Provided I'm feeling better! So, we couldn't decide on a government, the Grand Final was a draw, and they announced the wrong winner on ANTM. (Australia's Next Top Model) Australia, no more decisions for you! It's been a year of indecision, to say the least.

So that's it for the moment. I really hope to post pics of my purchases ASAP, but I'd rather have all my cheatsheets and hw completed. Just for peace of mind. I hope everyone is as well as possible! Alex. xoxo