Our garden

Our garden:

We had some landscaping work done a while ago, those of you who follow me on Twitter will remember my complaints about the noise! Well, here are some of the results:

New garden bed, with lots of plants & flowers

The only foxglove in bloom & some other plants.

I got to choose the colours for the flowers in the garden bed pictured above and to the left. I wanted colours like white, yellow, blue, purple and pink. I don't think there were any blues, but the foxgloves are white, (I presume; the one in bloom is) and I think there are some yellows, pinks and purples, too. It'll be a surprise when all of them bloom! I must post pictures then. =D

The new decking is great, it's a lot longer than our previous one, and to the side it has wide bits of decking that are like steps, yet are big enough to sit on. Mishka had a lot of fun running up and down them, although she is a bit sad that she can't access her hiding places under the house. (The side decking steps blocked off the little entrance she uses.)

We also had some turf laid, as the grass we had was in a very sorry state due to the long drought. This year is on the way to becoming the wettest year in a long time, which explains my increased level of pain. I think this winter is much colder than last year's; I am certain our heating bills have increased exponentially!

Some of the new decking & another garden bed, with plants.

I'm really looking forward to spending some time outside, on the decking in spring or summer. I might even study on the outside dining setting! I do need to spend some time in the sun, and I plan to, as soon as I adjust to having to be up and awake during the day, and as soon as my medications work properly, and definitely when it's warmer. But the garden looks great, and I think it will cheer me up. The landscapers chose plants that don't aggravate allergies, and I haven't had any allergy flare ups in the past two days or so. *Touches wood*

Study and exams:

My TI-89 Titanium calculator.

My exams are in November, and I've a maths analysis assignment soon. This is Week 9, and I'm studying more probability. (I've got a bit of the set homework left, I'll attempt another question ASAP.) Some of it is difficult, while other parts are just a matter of following steps, or applying formulas/using a graphics calculator. Week 10 is probability again. For something different, in Week 11 I start exam revision. I have to complete a practice exam each week, and mail it. Week 12 is the probability analysis assignment. I find probability, trig and graphs to be the most difficult topics.

The page of homework for Week 9

I really need to start making some cheatsheets; I have some from Year 10 and Year 11, but because the subject has changed since then, I think I'll make lists of everything I need for each subject, step by step instructions, formulas, how to use my graphics calculator, and more. I'll also highlight different sections, and colour code them. I then have to make this into a "bound reference" for my long exam, but I'm not allowed to used sticky tabs or anything to mark chapters/sections, so I'll need to work out a system.

Mum is making sure my teacher comes out soon, so I can go over things I don't understand, ask for past exams, exam techniques, how to put together and make the best of a bound reference. (I've never used or made one before, only double sided A4 cheatsheets for tests.) I hope to maintain a B or B+ average, so that will give me a bit of leeway in my exams. I tend to do badly under pressure and time constraints, so my marks always decrease in exams. It's a pity, but I really only need a pass mark for maths to get into Accounting, although a higher mark would be much better and definitely preferable!

My calculus cheatsheet from Year 11

Mishka:

Mishka sitting on my bed

I got Mishka after a hospitalisation in 2005, the year I had off school, because the social workers and nurses suggested I get a cat or a pet of some sort to keep me company at home. Mishka was really in a bad way when we got her; she'd just had kittens, even though she was only 6mths old herself, so her fur was patchy, and she was very thin. I carried her around the house for the first month, so she's a bit spoilt!

Mishka has been great company, and it's nice to have her with me, even if she's asleep while she's sitting with me on my bed, or on my lap, purring or dozing as I watch tv. She's been very healthy, which is great, because I'd be devastated if Mishka got sick. I have a hard time taking care of her, so unless I'm awake at 5am or 6am, Mum will let Mishka outside, and put her food bowl out. I try to bring her in each night, but she doesn't like to come indoors anymore, so I've taken to bringing her food bowl indoors at midday or 1pm, and then Mishka has to come inside sometime, as she'll get hungry, eventually. We don't have a catflap, and if I leave her food out for too long, all the neighbourhood cats come and eat it.

Mishka is timid, scared of strangers, loud noises, and sudden movements. But she's very sweet and cuddly. I love that it's so easy to make Mishka happy; I just have to feed her and pat her, and make sure she's got somewhere comfortable to nap. I wish everyone were that easy to please. Mishka likes hiding in small spaces, and it's adorable to see little white socks poking out from under a bed!

That's all for today, I hope you liked the post. I might write one about my first time voting at the federal election when I feel a bit better. I've been up since 9am today, and only got about 5hrs broken sleep, so I don't feel well. I might write a health update soon, too. Alex. xoxo

Stress, and lots of it!

Holidays:
The school holidays start at the end of this week, finally! I haven't had a break since February or something; I spent all of the term 1 holidays studying, catching up on the 7 weeks of work I had missed. I'm seeing a friend and going to a movie on the 3rd of July, and there's the Class of 2009 reunion towards the end of the month, so I need to go shopping on the holidays and find a blazer, because, at 19, I don't think I'll fit in wearing a hoodie! But I'll still wear my jeans, lol. I really need a rest, though. I'm completely exhausted.

I think I should move my specialist appointment to a closer date, because the 19th of July is too far away. We need to work out a compromise on my sleep, and therefore my pain. I find it hard to believe that in the 21st century doctors can only treat nausea with Ondansetron, provided you use it very sparingly. I need my other symptoms treated, and not with Melatonin! It doesn't work, no matter how high or low the dose is!!

Maths tutoring:
My tutor rang about half an hour before tutoring was due to start, to say that she couldn't make it, as something really urgent had suddenly come up. (She works as a dentist now, and has been tutoring me since I was 13. I'm lucky she makes the time each week to tutor me!) I didn't think it would be a problem until after I spent 3.5hrs revising antidifferentiation, and realised that I was having a lot more trouble with this Unit than I had originally thought. I tried to start the work for Week 2, but it's just too hard for me to understand what is written in my coursebook; I need someone to go through the examples, and explain how it works and why I need to do each step.

I realised about an hour ago that I'll be so busy this week that I won't be able to start my homework until Thursday evening (my tutor is coming over at about 6.30pm) and it's due Friday. That means tutoring will finish at around 9pm, and then I need to study for at least 2.5hrs to do my homework. So I won't be finished until about 11.30pm or midnight.

Unfortunately, because I study via distance education, it takes at least 24 hours for my homework to arrive. I was sent an email last month saying that if you don't have all your homework in before the holidays, the work may not be marked. But I don't think my homework arriving on Monday as opposed to the previous Friday will make a lot of difference, particularly if I let my teacher know. I can't do it on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, either; I have appointments on Monday (two of them) and a personal training session on Wednesday, so I'll obviously have to rest and try to sleep on Tuesday. I also have an appointment on Friday, so I can't do the rest of my homework then, unless I cut out a lot of sleep, take Ondansetron and a lot of painkillers. Not a pleasant option. And I'm feeling really exhausted and sick every day. Today was the one day I felt able to study!

Stress and anxiety...
Does anyone have any tips on how to cope?

Year 12 is the most stressful and anxiety-inducing experience I've ever encountered, particularly given my M.E.! There are just so many things to worry about, and my specialist is telling me one visit to drop out, and the next to get a part time job soon! I honestly think doctors talk nonsense when they're at a loss for what to say or do.

Also, if anyone else has sleep problems similar to mine, have you found any medications that helped or worked?

I guess that's it for now, I'll probably have more to write later in the week. Thanks so much for the comments, it's great to know that other people are reading this! Any and all positive comments/feedback are most welcome. =D

Busy & stressed!

My past week:
On the 27/03 & 28/03 I had two hours of Maths tutoring each day to catch up; I'd missed the previous week's session because I went to see a movie with a friend, & it was my birthday that weekend. One of the worst ever. So it took me a while to recover from that. (In fact, I'm not sure I have recovered yet.)
On the 30/03 I had a dentist's appointment, which was exhausting & I also got my iPod fixed & looked at Sportsgirl.
Then on the 31/03 I had my first personal training session at the gym, which went well, but I was incredibly exhausted as my younger brother had a friend & the friend's younger brother at our place all day.
The next day (01/04) I had a hair cut/colour & it took a few hours, but it was nice to get out of the house & do something that didn't involve ME/CFS for once. Then I noticed a sale at Cotton On & the Bonds outlet, so I bought a loose top that matches my pajamas for $5 from Cotton On, a jacket & long sleeve t-shirt from the Bonds outlet. Then I was exhausted.
On Sunday (04/03) I went to the footy after an awful weekend, thanks to my father. I had a good time with my half-brother from Germany, his girlfriend & my family. (Excluding my father.) After the footy match we went to the Hilton to have a coffee & some snacks, then caught a taxi home.

My further exhaustion & feelings of being overwhelmed:
I got back at about 9.50pm last night, & had to shower & wash, dry, straighten my hair & do my Methods hw which I'd been too busy or wiped out to do all week. I've finally got all of week 1 ready to send in, & all of week 2 except for 1 question. Just 5 more weeks of work to be completed by the 11/04 & I'm set. Then I have a SAC the first week of term, but I'm allowed to take rest breaks, etc. plus my mum is supervising me. So that should quell some of my nerves/panic attacks/anxiety about exams/tests/SACs. I hope.

Sleep: (or lack thereof)
It's 4am & I haven't slept yet. My body is keeping me awake, despite the fact I've taken my meds, because it knows I have tutoring at 1pm, & my body thinks I'll oversleep. It's stupid. I need sleep for tutoring, so my body ensures I don't sleep before tutoring. It's torture & a waste of my valuable meds! I'm going to go insane from lack of sleep. I either get to sleep by 4am & wake every 10mins or get to sleep by 8am & wake every 30mins. Both are exhausting, both cannot be classified as sleep, & no one can help me. I'm on my own here. I've tried everything & nothing helps. Exercise seems to make it worse, stress obviously does & I'm stressed out of my mind.

So busy & so desperate to sleep:
I need to get to sleep!!! My half-brother from Germany & his girlfriend are coming over after tutoring for an early dinner & also so they can tell us about their trip through central Australia. I must study, I must pass, I must get a good mark, & I must return to school next year. The isolation is awful & so is being stuck at home. I just want the energy & ability to escape for a few days. I'm not coping anymore.

Expect another post soon, unless I get too sick to use my laptop again!

iMac

YAY!! ...... Oh, crap..... Oooh, cool.


We finally have a functioning computer!! I've never had a mac before, but we've now got an iMac as the family computer; though I've been on it all night! (That's the "YAY!!") I'm so excited to have new music, but panicked that my iPod won't fully sync, it keeps saying: "The iPod "Alex's iPod" cannot be synced. The required file cannot be found." (That's the "Oh, crap.") It's, like, 1am, & I'm so stressed, annoyed & confused. I bought $110 worth of music, & not all of it may have synced. Oh, btw, it's not my pension being spent on Rammstein, Lady GaGa P!nk, blur & more, it's my Christmas & birthday iTunes vouchers. I have about $10 left, I think. I've been making a list of songs I want ever since our pc decided it wouldn't co-operate with iTunes. (It did this by taking 15mins to open iTunes, then crash when I clicked anything at all.) It was a very manipulative PC. lol!! Oh, the iMac has a WEBCAM!! (That's the "Oooh, cool" bit.) It has this thing called Photo Booth, & you can take pics using aforementioned webcam with various effects & backgrounds. It's awesome, but it also means I'll know how to look halfway decent in actual pics. Practice should make decent. (I'd rather perfect, but I'll never look perfect in a pic!!!) Seriously, I'm not photogenic. I may have to take my iPod to the store & see what the problem is. Must ask mum when she can take me. That is, if the iTunes updates don't fix the problem.

Woo-hoo!!


I read in the paper (well, the newspaper's site on my mobile) that 'The Simpsons' vocab has entered ours. But the "woo-hoo!" part is that I'm finally over my virus, my second in three weeks, & should receive info from my distance education teacher soon about how many 'send' exercises & reviews I must complete. I really hope I can stay in Methods this year, & graduate next year, I really don't want to get worse. I slept rather well last night, luckily. I got 4hrs' sleep without waking! Then the iMac was installed yesterday afternoon, & I spent all evening up until now, pretty much, on the iMac, buying music, making playlists & generally having as much fun as I can possibly have, being me. Also, with the thing about posture supposedly improving my pain levels; it's not. It's so much worse!! But I'm gonna keep going, to either improve, or prove my specialist wrong. I love doing that. *evil grin*

Goodnight...

Well, it's about 1.10am now, so I should check on the progress of the iTunes downloads, & go to bed. Rest my aching bones & all that. =p Also, I'm seriously devastated about Skins. A whole new cast for series 5?! But the site says series 4 is available on DVD; I'm hoping they mean worldwide, but it's unlikely. As ever, I live in hope! Goodnight. =)

STRESS!!

Distance education...
My mum rang up the Year 12 co-ordinator for distance education during the week, to ask when I'd be getting a schedule, or some SACs, etc. I then found out I was 7 weeks behind, & the start pack (coursebooks, guides, CD-ROM, etc.) had been sent to us in FEBRUARY, but never arrived. Fail. So I got hyper stressed & had a panic attack. It wasn't until my teacher called me the next day (the 24th) & I explained what I'd covered that I found out I wasn't really 7 weeks behind, I was just missing some key areas: graphs, because they hadn't been covered in the textbook yet. So she said to do the 'send' exercises, & if I had any problems, to look at the coursebooks & explanations, then call/email her if I needed further clarification. The thick coursebook is divided in to weeks (as in weeks of a term) & each week you  need to do all the exercises & refer to the thinner coursebook for algebra consolidation exercises & send in the 'send' algebra review exercise(s) & the 'send' work at the end of the chapter. The 'send' at the end of the chapter is 2 - 3 pages long, usually, & there are looooong analysis questions, too. I've nearly finished all of weeks 1 & 2, & have made a start on week 3. I also emailed my teacher to find out how many of the 'send' exercises I need to complete & send in. Otherwise it's waaaaaay too much work for a 2 week holiday break. So stressful!! ... This is a pic of all the work that arrived: http://twitpic.com/1ae3ep

Another virus...
I caught another virus last Monday, probably because when mum went to the gym, her personal trainer was really sick, so I caught it, as I have a really low immune system. (EBV + ME/CFS + secondary infection = low immune system) It was awful. I felt like I usually do (chills, running a fever, aches & pains, headache) but 100x worse & I had a really sore throat that just wouldn't go away, plus I had 'the sniffles'. Badly. I'm still feeling a bit under the weather now, but my tutor noticed the difference in my appearance on Sunday, as opposed to on Saturday. (I'd improved; my voice was more normal.) Imagine if she'd seen me on Wednesday! =o

Flu vaccinations...
I can't get the 'flu shot, because it lays me low, or makes me exhausted/sick for at least 1.5 weeks afterwards. That's a luxury I cannot afford in Year 12. Seeing as I'm practically housebound, I don't need the vaccination, plus with a low immune system, it's recommended in a lot of countries that you shouldn't get the swine flu vaccination unless you work/study, etc. in high-risk areas, like schools, or hospitals. So I may have to get it next year, but I'll ensure I get it on the hols. No reason to fall behind in SACs & work if it can be avoided. I really hope there is a "next year", though. I want to go back to school & graduate so badly that I can't quite explain it in words! I just have to improve & must graduate. Then I can stress about uni. (lol!)

The week ahead...
If all goes well, I'm going to the gym (to see a personal trainer, finally) on Wednesday afternoon, having my hair cut Thursday afternoon, & possibly going to Ikea to get a new wardrobe. Possibly. (I also don't know if we have to get my shelf taken down so the wardrobe will fit. My current wardrobe doesn't fit all my stuff, & isn't great.) Then on Saturday, I have maths tutoring again in the afternoon. (I had it Saturday, and today this week, to make up for last week's missed lesson.) I love Ikea's cafeteria. Particularly the free refills for soft drinks. =D It'd be a nice outing.