A distraction!

Shopping trip:
On Monday I went to our local shopping precinct, which is basically a street filled with different stores and cafes, etc. First I went to Smiggle, and bought a really cute pencil case and a weekly planner for my return to school, plus some more fine liner pens in different colours to use on my maths cheatsheets and for school, too. Then I went to look at Portmans, and they still have some lovely jewellery! I found a necklace and bracelet and a bag; they'll all go perfectly with the summery floral dress I bought earlier. I bought some other necklaces from Portmans. I also had a look at Sportsgirl, but their jewellery wasn't very nice, and I couldn't see anything I needed. I looked in Priceline for nail polishes before I went home, and I bought a fuchsia, a sparkly turquoise, and a shimmery pearlescent colour. I redid my nails in the turquoise that night, and the colour really cheers me up! It's amazing how much little things can improve your mood when you're really ill.


I saw quite a few things that I loved at Portmans, but I don't need them, so there's no point in buying them! I did see a lovely sequined bolero jacket and an adorable (yet modest) formal dress in their catalogue, so after exams I'll go in and try them on. The jacket is thin, so it'll be ideal for Valedictory, which is in summer. I've got a dress already, and it'll match. The dress is at the tailor's, 'cause I need to get some sleeves/straps put on it. I'm just not comfortable in a strapless dress. I'm going to see if I can use my savings for the dress; I think it'd be nice to have a second classic dress that never goes out of style!

So, here are the purchases! (Apologies for iPhone picture quality.)

These are from Smiggle:

My new pencil case!
It has press studs in
the middle, so there
are three sections



My pencil case opened.
There are two outside
zipper sections, plus the
one in the middle.

  

     

My new weekly planner.
I love the pattern!



The inside of my weekly planner.
I can use it next year, 'cause it doesn't
have dates, only days of the week.



And here's the jewellery and bag from Portmans:  



The necklace and bracelet that go with
my summery floral dress



A close-up of the bracelet





   







The bag I got to match my bracelet, necklace and summery dress!

 

This necklace has dark
blue beads and leaves
around it. It's quite long



I love this one, almost as
much as the one with
the charms!





  





I love the charms!

These are the nail polishes I bought from Priceline. I'm wearing the turquoise one now, and I think I'll try the fuchsia next. I'm not sure about the shimmery pearlescent colour, (it probably looks white in the pic!) but it was the only nail polish that was glittery/shimmery and was a nice colour. (ie: not bronze or grey.)

I really hope I can go to David Jones soon to look at their OPI range. OPI has the greatest colours, and so many are glittery. (I've got the iPhone app!) Maybe when Orientation finishes, in December

I felt like a break from studying and revising. Also, I'm feeling kinda spaced out from my OxyNorm (at least it's working) and I'm exhausted, so I figured I'd write a blog post instead of pointless study. I have an exam on Friday at 9am (ugh) and one on Monday at 11.45am. After that, I'm free! Anyone have any tips for summery/glittery/bright OPI colours? Thanks for reading! Alex. xoxo

Update!

Hi all!
It's past midnight on Monday as I'm writing this, but as I'm wide awake, I figured I'd write a blog post.

Maths, Study & Revision:
On Saturday I had maths tutoring from 2pm-5.30pm, then studied from 5.40pm-8.50pm. I rested in bed until midnight, when I got up and decided to revise some more, and specifically, to complete all my required cheatsheets. So I worked until 3am when I developed terrible nausea (which needed Ondansetron) and a shocking headache, which became a migraine later.

I can justify writing this post because: I have completed every cheatsheet for my maths bound reference.

All that's left is a cheatsheet with examples of how to draw various graphs, etc. and choosing which solutions from past paper exams to include. I also have to ask my teacher to come out to my house to help me with my calculator; often, when I try to solve complex equations, I get an answer like: 72e^4x@5. Which is of no help whatsoever!

Terrible luck!
On Saturday 16/10, I woke with a terrible headache, and later developed severe nausea which required Ondansetron. I still completed maths tutoring and studied, but the next day I woke with a terrible virus: cough, aches, pains, fever, chills, runny/blocked nose and an upset stomach. I lost 2kg in 3 days, simply because I couldn't eat! I felt better on Friday 22/10, and had tutoring on Saturday, as previously mentioned.

Unfortunately, today I feel worse. I'd say it's a combination of things: no sleep until 8am on Sunday, due to the migraine, getting only 4hrs broken sleep, still slowly recovering from the virus, and switching meds. So the entire week I was incredibly ill, (bed bound & requiring help to move from one room to another) I was unable to do any study. Which is why I compensated by studying for 9hrs on Saturday, as mentioned above.

Unfortunately, the marathon study session means that I'll be incredibly exhausted for quite a while, but I must press on; I have many past paper exams to do. My real exams are on the 05/11/10 and the 08/11/10.

Medications:
MS Contin wasn't working very well, even at 40mg twice a day, so my doctor has switched me to OxyNorm. Would you believe that anorexia is a very common side effect of OxyNorm?! I'm already at risk, due to my disordered eating, (apparently) severely distorted body image, and my history. I went through a stage of "starving" myself. And I lost 12kgs in 8 weeks. So I think my Mum will be watching me, because although I want to get into shape, (which is impossible when I'm this ill) I don't need another illness, or more complications, or more doctors! I've been on it for a few days, and I think I'll need a higher dose; 10mg twice daily just isn't cutting it. But it's 100000000x better than MS Contin!! If only they'd give me something to sleep! ALEX. NEEDS. SLEEP. (It's nearly 4am! ... This is an edit.)
I think I'll write a second post so that these are easier to read. Please comment, if you feel so inclined; I love feedback, and it cheers me up when I'm stuck in bed to see an email saying "new comment" =) Take care. xoxo

Hi!

I'm back!
I was finally able to log on to my laptop for the first time in ages. (Seriously, the last time I could use it was when I wrote the previous blog post!) So, I guess an update first, right? Here goes:

• The goLITEBLU*** was a disaster. After two migraines that lasted 7-10 days, my sleep clinician said to try the goLITEBLU again, but if I got another long migraine, then I shouldn't keep using it. So I tried it.
• After 4 days of a migraine, my Mum decided to take me to the ER. (I didn't want to go, as I figured they wouldn't help me if MS Contin wasn't working.) I spent hours curled up on a couch, (not at a children's hospital anymore >.<) before I finally got seen by a doctor and was given a bed. I had to fight for morphine, they wanted to give me Largactil, but that causes me HEADACHES!! So I had IV re-hydration, an injection of morphine and an injection of Ondansetron. After 9hrs in the ER, including wait time, (at a private hospital!) I went home. I had McDonald's drive through on the way back, to celebrate being migraine free for the first time in nearly 2wks! ^.^
• I'm no longer using the goLITEBLU. I can't believe the sleep clinician didn't even ask if there was a family history of migraines before telling me to use it. (The brochure warns of initial nausea and headaches.) There's migraines on both sides of the family, plus my Mum, my father, younger brother and I get them!
• I got a virus the next day, (Wed, 06/10/10) so I was on bed rest for the next 5 days. Except for the Saturday, (09/10/10) when I had 3hrs of maths tutoring. I couldn't stick to my sleep routine, let alone sleep hygiene when I felt so ill!

This is really worrying me.
I'm becoming more disabled each day. I wasn't able to study until this Wednesday, and I sat my 2 hour 20mins practice exam. (Not incl. reading time of 15mins!) I finished in the allotted time, felt I couldn't take any breaks, and didn't move from the same position the whole time. It's what I do when I'm hyper-stressed. So, of course, I finish, correct it (and find I got a damn good score, considering I can barely study) and then move. And I nearly collapsed! My whole back and neck had seized up and were intensely painful, plus my left hand was cramping and shaking. I wish I could sit my maths exams on laptops; I never felt this bad after my German practice exams/real exams last year! So I had a really hot shower, which helped my chills and pain, plus I wasn't feeling so much like I had the flu by then.

I seem to feel like I've been hit with a flu as soon as I've pushed too far past my limits. It's scary; I worry every time it happens that it's an actual flu or virus! I've barely been able to get out of bed this past week. And small things, like helping out by making food for my Mum and younger brother, (they've both had a terrible flu until today) or getting myself dressed make me absolutely exhausted, dizzy and weak. And not my normal level of exhaustion; this is the sort of exhaustion that makes me wonder if I can keep living, or if I'll just end up trapped in bed. Forever.

These illnesses, their severity, and the fact that virtually no one believes that Fibromyalgia or ME/CFS exist, all terrify me. If people understood, my life would almost be worth living.


More study. Ew.
It's past 1am on Friday now, and today I really need to do cheatsheets for Linear, Quadratics, Cubics/Quartics, Higher Order Polynomials/Gallery of Graphs. I can use bits and pieces from older cheatsheets, but I do need to do a Quadratics one from scratch, and maybe redo the Linear and Cubics/Quartics one.

... But I also want need to escape my bed, and go out. I hate being sick! Words can't describe it anymore. Hm... I really, desperately need to get my fringe cut, so maybe I could look at a few stores after? I'd rather do that than wind up in heaps of pain 'cause I studied too much!

***The goLITEBLU is meant to regulate your body clock, so you sleep, wake, and eat at normal times. It also should make you "happy and energetic." It's given me migraines, Ondansetron-worthy nausea, and made me so sleepy that I've had to triple my dose of wakefulness meds, on my doctor's orders. It also made me starving all day long, but then made me feel sick as soon as I ate.

Thanks for reading! I hope I improve soon, so I can study, and maybe even blog. I'm dying to take pics and post them. (Pics of my recent purchases, including a summer-y dress!)
Alex. xoxo

Government!

Government!
Today, the Independents, Oakeshott, Windsor and Katter announced who they would be supporting to form Government. Oakeshott and Windsor are supporting Labor, along with Wilkie, and the Greens MP Adam Bandt. This gives Labor a 76-74 majority in order to form Government. Katter announced he was supporting the Coalition earlier today. I think it will be an interesting time, as having a Greens MP means that there should be more focus on key issues such as an ETS, and hopefully the rights of asylum seekers, etc.

I don't know if I've mentioned that I wrote to Julia Gillard (okay, emailed from my iPhone) about the support and research that the ME/CFS community need in Australia. Anyway, I got a response shortly before the election, in writing. Unfortunately, it wasn't from an MP, but someone who works in the Department of Health & Ageing, as the Government was in caretaker mode due to the election being called. I called the person, who was a nice guy, and he said to write again, after the election, to whoever is the relevant person, basically saying the same things. This person had pointed out that ME/CFS Australia was a useful resource, and I said it was, but we need more support, and above all, awareness. I'm going to make a request for an MP (preferably all of them) to either wear a blue or purple ribbon on May 12th. Politicians wear awareness ribbons for everything from the violence against women campaign to the bushfire relief fund. I don't think it's a big ask.

An outing:

Sunday was Father's Day, and I went out with my father and younger brother to a shopping centre, and got a new wallet, as my old one was falling apart, and also to take my father out to lunch. We went to the Pancake Parlour, and it was really busy, so I found the whole experience very tiring and overwhelming. Still I was happy with the wallet I got, and I saw a few different things in the store that I liked. I'm hoping to go back with Mum this week. Mum actually gives opinions on how something looks! Clothes shopping, etc. with my father is pointless. Like most guys, he'll say "that looks good" to anything, just so we can leave the store!

Inside view of my new Roxy wallet.

Outside view of my new Roxy wallet.

My new pink lip gloss.

I also went to a shopping centre last week with Mum, as she wanted to pick up something from the Clinique counter. I got a lip gloss, and it's a nice shade of pink. I haven't used it yet, but I looked at the testers, and it'll really suit me. It's sort of a pen-type one, you twist one end, and the lip gloss is pushed up to the brush. It's not messy, and it's easy to use.

After my Year 11 formal (2008) I got some make-up, a first for me, because back then I was practically full-time at school, and feeling really healthy. I was also keeping up 3 extra-curriculars, plus work with a charity. I used the make-up once after I bought it, for a family portrait. I've never needed it since! As it's a powder/mineral foundation, or whatever you call it, it should last for ages. So it's not like I've wasted money, I'm just annoyed I never really got to use it.


Back to school soon!
I've been in contact with my school, and I've selected Literature and Legal Studies as my two subjects for Orientation (in the last two weeks of November) and for next year. (My final year of Year 12.) I'm really looking forward to it, and the school should have reinstated my email account by now, so the prospective subject teachers will be in contact with me. (The Legal Studies teacher is the same as always, but there are two teachers who could take Lit.) The great thing is that the teachers can email me before the booklist is finalised and released, with a list of possible books. That way I can read the books, if we've got them at home. (Mum studied English Lit at uni, so we've got a massive home library.)

I hope we don't have to read Jane Austen. But I'm really looking forward to studying Shakespeare. And I'd love it if they switched Bruce Dawe's "Sometimes Gladness" collection of poetry from English to Lit. Bruce Dawe is very accessible, and has written some lovely poems. I find Shakespeare accessible and quite easy to understand, which has astounded everyone, including my Mum. You'd think the brain fog would affect my ability to process Shakespeare or poetry, but it hasn't! It's really affected my memory and attention span, though. The two teachers who might be taking Lit have both taught me before I was really ill, so they are more likely to be lenient with my homework load, marking, and already understand ME/CFS. I'll just have to explain Fibro to them. The Legal Studies teacher also taught me earlier, so that's good for the same reasons.

Also...
I'm not sure if I'll be able to blog a lot in the near future, as I have exams in the first week of November. This week I have to sit a 110min practice exam. Next week I've got the probability analysis assignment, and then I have practice exams basically every week until the end of October! I did manage to get the probability cheatsheet done, but I ended up doing it on the weekend with my maths tutor.

I've got to do a cheatsheet for every topic in maths: calculus, trigonometry, linear functions, quadratic functions, cubic functions, quartic functions, transformations & drawing of graphs, matrices, and of course, how to use my CAS calculator! I think that's about it, and luckily I've got cheatsheets to draw on from Year 10 and 11, but I have to add a lot to them; this subject gets a lot more complex in Year 12!

So, if I suddenly don't blog for a fortnight or something, the odds are I'm exhausted from study, overwhelmed from study, or can't study or do anything! (Hopefully it's one of the first two, I don't want to be too ill to study.) If anyone has study tips, or ideas on how to relax before exams, I'd love to hear them. I have sat exams before, but maths always causes more anxiety for me, as it's always been my weakness.

Thanks for reading, and I do welcome feedback! I hope I can keep blogging next year, despite the fact I'll be studying two subjects. Alex. xoxo

Our garden

Our garden:

We had some landscaping work done a while ago, those of you who follow me on Twitter will remember my complaints about the noise! Well, here are some of the results:

New garden bed, with lots of plants & flowers

The only foxglove in bloom & some other plants.

I got to choose the colours for the flowers in the garden bed pictured above and to the left. I wanted colours like white, yellow, blue, purple and pink. I don't think there were any blues, but the foxgloves are white, (I presume; the one in bloom is) and I think there are some yellows, pinks and purples, too. It'll be a surprise when all of them bloom! I must post pictures then. =D

The new decking is great, it's a lot longer than our previous one, and to the side it has wide bits of decking that are like steps, yet are big enough to sit on. Mishka had a lot of fun running up and down them, although she is a bit sad that she can't access her hiding places under the house. (The side decking steps blocked off the little entrance she uses.)

We also had some turf laid, as the grass we had was in a very sorry state due to the long drought. This year is on the way to becoming the wettest year in a long time, which explains my increased level of pain. I think this winter is much colder than last year's; I am certain our heating bills have increased exponentially!

Some of the new decking & another garden bed, with plants.

I'm really looking forward to spending some time outside, on the decking in spring or summer. I might even study on the outside dining setting! I do need to spend some time in the sun, and I plan to, as soon as I adjust to having to be up and awake during the day, and as soon as my medications work properly, and definitely when it's warmer. But the garden looks great, and I think it will cheer me up. The landscapers chose plants that don't aggravate allergies, and I haven't had any allergy flare ups in the past two days or so. *Touches wood*

Study and exams:

My TI-89 Titanium calculator.

My exams are in November, and I've a maths analysis assignment soon. This is Week 9, and I'm studying more probability. (I've got a bit of the set homework left, I'll attempt another question ASAP.) Some of it is difficult, while other parts are just a matter of following steps, or applying formulas/using a graphics calculator. Week 10 is probability again. For something different, in Week 11 I start exam revision. I have to complete a practice exam each week, and mail it. Week 12 is the probability analysis assignment. I find probability, trig and graphs to be the most difficult topics.

The page of homework for Week 9

I really need to start making some cheatsheets; I have some from Year 10 and Year 11, but because the subject has changed since then, I think I'll make lists of everything I need for each subject, step by step instructions, formulas, how to use my graphics calculator, and more. I'll also highlight different sections, and colour code them. I then have to make this into a "bound reference" for my long exam, but I'm not allowed to used sticky tabs or anything to mark chapters/sections, so I'll need to work out a system.

Mum is making sure my teacher comes out soon, so I can go over things I don't understand, ask for past exams, exam techniques, how to put together and make the best of a bound reference. (I've never used or made one before, only double sided A4 cheatsheets for tests.) I hope to maintain a B or B+ average, so that will give me a bit of leeway in my exams. I tend to do badly under pressure and time constraints, so my marks always decrease in exams. It's a pity, but I really only need a pass mark for maths to get into Accounting, although a higher mark would be much better and definitely preferable!

My calculus cheatsheet from Year 11

Mishka:

Mishka sitting on my bed

I got Mishka after a hospitalisation in 2005, the year I had off school, because the social workers and nurses suggested I get a cat or a pet of some sort to keep me company at home. Mishka was really in a bad way when we got her; she'd just had kittens, even though she was only 6mths old herself, so her fur was patchy, and she was very thin. I carried her around the house for the first month, so she's a bit spoilt!

Mishka has been great company, and it's nice to have her with me, even if she's asleep while she's sitting with me on my bed, or on my lap, purring or dozing as I watch tv. She's been very healthy, which is great, because I'd be devastated if Mishka got sick. I have a hard time taking care of her, so unless I'm awake at 5am or 6am, Mum will let Mishka outside, and put her food bowl out. I try to bring her in each night, but she doesn't like to come indoors anymore, so I've taken to bringing her food bowl indoors at midday or 1pm, and then Mishka has to come inside sometime, as she'll get hungry, eventually. We don't have a catflap, and if I leave her food out for too long, all the neighbourhood cats come and eat it.

Mishka is timid, scared of strangers, loud noises, and sudden movements. But she's very sweet and cuddly. I love that it's so easy to make Mishka happy; I just have to feed her and pat her, and make sure she's got somewhere comfortable to nap. I wish everyone were that easy to please. Mishka likes hiding in small spaces, and it's adorable to see little white socks poking out from under a bed!

That's all for today, I hope you liked the post. I might write one about my first time voting at the federal election when I feel a bit better. I've been up since 9am today, and only got about 5hrs broken sleep, so I don't feel well. I might write a health update soon, too. Alex. xoxo