Music

Music
I've been listening to my iPod a lot lately, especially when I'm in too much pain to read/write/use my laptop, etc. I've been listening to Franz Ferdinand, and watching some music videos. Franz Ferdinand have really interesting and creative music videos, and I love watching Joy Division's music video for 'Love Will Tear Us Apart', followed by New Order's cover, recorded live in Glasgow. It's amazing to see the same three people age so suddenly, from 1980 to 2005 or something.

Joy Division. (L-R: Stephen Morris, Ian Curtis, Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook)

New Order. (L-R: Peter Hook, Stephen Morris, Bernard Sumner)

 I've been watching Brandon Flowers' new music video, 'Crossfire', the new single from his upcoming solo album 'Flamingo.'

The album cover for 'Flamingo'

Brandon Flowers.

And, really, you can't go past Oasis. I love to watch interviews. There's one off the DVD from 'Stop The Clocks', a best of, and I chose German subtitles. I learned many swear words the first time I saw it. It is helpful for grammar, though. There's also 'Gold & Silver & Sunshine', which is basically the making of their final album 'Dig Out Your Soul'... I like it because it's not just the Gallagher brothers, but the whole band get interviewed. This was also on a bonus DVD that came with the CD.

The album cover for 'Dig Out Your Soul'

Oasis. (L-R: Andy Bell, Liam Gallagher, Gem Archer, Noel Gallagher)

Pain
I've been on the Lyrica for a while now, and it obviously isn't helping. It's actually causing headaches some days, plus the dizziness, disorientation, weakness and weird appetite. (I can't eat for 20hrs sometimes because I'm not hungry or I feel sick, then suddenly I'm starving, and eat a whole bowl of curry and rice and a few muesli bars!)

My new specialist is sending out a script for real painkillers on Monday. He also said I'm not to do my homework after tutoring, because 2.5-3hrs of study is too much for me at the moment. I'd be doing my homework now, except I've been awake since 7.20am and only got a maximum of 6hrs broken sleep, and my younger brother has a friend over. And I've got a headache that just won't go away. It's not as bad as the one I had for a whole week during that virus, but I think that studying will make it worse.

My back was really sore after tutoring yesterday, which went for about 3hrs. We covered more probability. Honestly, that topic goes on forever! I find probability quite hard, but it's not as bad as trigonometry. I was so exhausted last week that I forgot to send my homework in! I still have to put it in an envelope and address it. I'm so sick of distance education, it's a real pain having to do this much study and send off the work every week.

My favourite bands (listening to their music, or looking through pictures, going through their albums) always cheer me up.

The Killers. (L-R: Mark Stoermer, Ronnie
Vannucci, Dave Keuning, Brandon Flowers)

Franz Ferdinand. (L-R: Nicholas McCarthy,
Paul Thomson, Alex Kapranos, Bob Hardy)

Thanks for commenting on my 'Fibromyalgia' post, it was great getting all that feedback! I'd love to know: what have you been listening to? What helps you cope with pain and/or lack of sleep? And what cheers you up?

Alex. xoxo

Shopping and results!

Shopping:
I went shopping on Monday, but have been recovering until now, (Friday) otherwise I would have posted earlier! I found a bag, some shoes, and got my blazer altered at the tailor's. The bag is black, and the main section has a zip compartment which is ideal for my medications, and in the main section I'll carry my usual things: wallet, water bottle, pension card/library card, (they're the closest thing to an ID I own!) keys, etc. On the front there's another zip compartment, but much larger, and I'll use that for my iPod, iPhone, and anything else I need frequent or quick access to. Perhaps Ondansetron should be kept there, too! On the back of the bag there's a small zip section which is ideal for papaw ointment, lip gloss and a small mirror. Here's a picture, what do you think of the bag?

The shoes I got were from the Converse outlet, and one pair is black and sparkly, fastened at the side by velcro/press studs and sort of look like slouch boots. They don't have laces, so they're a bit more formal than normal Chucks. Do you like my shoes? I won't be wearing the tops turned down at my reunion, but they're still cool! 

The second pair I got are just normal low-tops, except they're pink and glittery, with identical laces. I don't normally like pink, but these were so bright and shiny (I sound like Gollum!) that I couldn't resist. Oh, and the laces are sort of elastic-y. Are they too pink and shiny, or do you like them? Let me know, leave a comment!

I also bought Franz Ferdinand CDs: 'Franz Ferdinand', 'You Could Have It So Much Better', 'Tonight: Franz Ferdinand' and 'Blood: Franz Ferdinand'. The only one I didn't own a digital copy of (from iTunes) was 'Blood: Franz Ferdinand'. I've since listened to it, and I like it, but not as much as the other albums. I don't always like remixes. But since I've really got into Franz Ferdinand, I had to own a copy of all their albums, and actual CDs at that. Same with Oasis and The Killers. I can't wait for Franz Ferdinand's next album, and I really hope they tour here, at a disabled-friendly venue. (ie. Not a festival, an arena with seating, and music that a friend likes so I can access the disabled seating.) With The Killers on hiatus, I needed a band to fill the musical void in my heart! Here are the CDs I bought; sorry the picture is sideways. I take all pics with my iPhone now. Do you like Franz Ferdinand, too? What sort of music are you into? What music would you recommend for me?

I just needed the sleeves on my blazer shortened as they were too long, but otherwise it fits me really well. It will be ready to pick up on Tuesday. Hopefully it turns out fine; I've never really owned a "good" jacket or had to have anything altered besides jeans. I'll post pics of my outfit as soon as I have it all together. I have a really nice necklace to wear, as well. I welcome opinions!

Maths results!

My mum rang my teacher the other day because I was having a mini-meltdown over my results, which I STILL hadn't received. I got an A on my calculus assignment (that really long one that took a fortnight) and a B on my test/assignment which was on calculus and trigonometry, plus a few other things. When I got my results in the mail, I got a fright, because of the way things are classified, my marks fall as a 'High' (B+ or B) and a 'Medium' (C+ or C.) My teacher worked out the percentages, though, and I got a low A, which falls into the 'High' category with the sorting, and for the second assignment I got a high B, which falls into the 'Medium' category with the sorting. So far this year on my assignments I've received: A+, A, B. My next assignment is in the last week of June, and I think it's another long one, but I only get a week to complete it. I really hope I do alright.

I have to maintain a high average for my classwork, because I usually do badly on my exams. I panic, and then have a mind blank. This only started after I missed a year of school and was house-bound that year. My doctors think I developed a lot of new fears that year. When I got back to school I was terrified of speaking in class, or even talking to people. I'd also developed mild agoraphobia. I hated leaving the house, and would have a panic attack every morning before school. I still panic before any kind of public speaking, whether it's debating, a speech in front of the school, or just my English class. And I'm really panicky during it. I thought debating would help me face my new fear of public speaking, but it just meant I got to be terrified on a regular basis. So I'm still as scared as ever when it comes to public speaking, but if I feel comfortable in a class, I'll contribute. I'm always told I need to contribute more to class. (Not in German; there was nowhere to hide in a class of four people, including me!)

Another stressor/fear:
I'm stressed that I'll be the same after this year at home, studying by distance: scared of school, scared to speak up, scared of leaving my room. I do go out, but that's different to giving a speech to a class. I wish I could be assessed differently for oral tasks, because they actually mark you on how well you present. So I'm at a disadvantage before I even start the assignment! I just hope that there aren't too many oral presentations, and if there are, that it's group work. Then I don't have to do all the talking. The worst thing is when I get so shaky and start blacking out that I'm not sure if I'll be able to speak... But I always end up talking. Luckily! I really don't think it's fair to assess people on how they present an oral task. A fear of public speaking is very disabling, and if you already have a disability, it's even worse.

Sleep...
I slept well Monday night this week, but I was woken the next night, so since then I've had very broken sleep. Take last night as an example: I went to bed at about 10.50pm, but woke at 1am, 5am, 6am, 7am, 8am, 9am, 10.30am and 11am. I got up at 11.30am, and haven't been back to bed since. It's a pity, because I really need my sleep to recover from all the activity on Monday. I walked so much that day, it was a huge shopping centre! I'm hoping my sleep will right itself again soon, because I will really need rest before my reunion. I hope I can have a good time, because after that, it will be the weekend, then my assignment week. Yay.

I love reading your comments, but I've been missing them lately! Where is everyone?!