Monday, April 5, 2010

Busy & stressed!

My past week:
On the 27/03 & 28/03 I had two hours of Maths tutoring each day to catch up; I'd missed the previous week's session because I went to see a movie with a friend, & it was my birthday that weekend. One of the worst ever. So it took me a while to recover from that. (In fact, I'm not sure I have recovered yet.)
On the 30/03 I had a dentist's appointment, which was exhausting & I also got my iPod fixed & looked at Sportsgirl.
Then on the 31/03 I had my first personal training session at the gym, which went well, but I was incredibly exhausted as my younger brother had a friend & the friend's younger brother at our place all day.
The next day (01/04) I had a hair cut/colour & it took a few hours, but it was nice to get out of the house & do something that didn't involve ME/CFS for once. Then I noticed a sale at Cotton On & the Bonds outlet, so I bought a loose top that matches my pajamas for $5 from Cotton On, a jacket & long sleeve t-shirt from the Bonds outlet. Then I was exhausted.
On Sunday (04/03) I went to the footy after an awful weekend, thanks to my father. I had a good time with my half-brother from Germany, his girlfriend & my family. (Excluding my father.) After the footy match we went to the Hilton to have a coffee & some snacks, then caught a taxi home.

My further exhaustion & feelings of being overwhelmed:
I got back at about 9.50pm last night, & had to shower & wash, dry, straighten my hair & do my Methods hw which I'd been too busy or wiped out to do all week. I've finally got all of week 1 ready to send in, & all of week 2 except for 1 question. Just 5 more weeks of work to be completed by the 11/04 & I'm set. Then I have a SAC the first week of term, but I'm allowed to take rest breaks, etc. plus my mum is supervising me. So that should quell some of my nerves/panic attacks/anxiety about exams/tests/SACs. I hope.

Sleep: (or lack thereof)
It's 4am & I haven't slept yet. My body is keeping me awake, despite the fact I've taken my meds, because it knows I have tutoring at 1pm, & my body thinks I'll oversleep. It's stupid. I need sleep for tutoring, so my body ensures I don't sleep before tutoring. It's torture & a waste of my valuable meds! I'm going to go insane from lack of sleep. I either get to sleep by 4am & wake every 10mins or get to sleep by 8am & wake every 30mins. Both are exhausting, both cannot be classified as sleep, & no one can help me. I'm on my own here. I've tried everything & nothing helps. Exercise seems to make it worse, stress obviously does & I'm stressed out of my mind.

So busy & so desperate to sleep:
I need to get to sleep!!! My half-brother from Germany & his girlfriend are coming over after tutoring for an early dinner & also so they can tell us about their trip through central Australia. I must study, I must pass, I must get a good mark, & I must return to school next year. The isolation is awful & so is being stuck at home. I just want the energy & ability to escape for a few days. I'm not coping anymore.

Expect another post soon, unless I get too sick to use my laptop again!

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