Monday, February 22, 2010


Maths tutoring...
So, I had maths tutoring for the first time since last May, the whole 2.5hrs, and it went pretty well. Still on the first chapter, but it's slow work. Particularly the binomial expansions & Pascal's triangle. (Curse you, binomial expansions!! Pascal's triangle, too, so damn confusing!) I was doing really well (as my tutor said to me & my mum) particularly as I remembered polynomial division, without having revised it. I like polynomial division, when it's not a complex equation, it's almost relaxing. Like simple algebra, you can just do it almost without thinking. Or like me talking about my illness in German. Becoming second nature, lol. So 1.1 is "Algebra of polynomials", and I covered the remainder & factor theorems, long division of polynomials & factorisation, equality of polynomials, solution of polynomial equations, equations reducible to quadratics, equations involving higher degree polynomials & Pascal's triangle & binomial expansions. Then it's on to 1.2 next week: "Systems of simultaneous linear equations"... With matrices, yay.

Stationery & payback time...
I have one notebook from last year for notes & working out, but then I copy out the examples & notes into a new notebook, in nice colours. (Scents, too, they're Smiggle pens.) That should help me remember more of the equations! Methods is blue, so it's a blue display book, blue exercise books, blue pencil case & butterfly binder folder. My hand was soooooo sore after tutoring, though. I haven't really needed to use a pen for more than 10mins since my November exam! Of course, my back was killing me, too, as punishment for getting up early, (woke at 6am, didn't sleep again) studying & sitting upright. I expected it, & I don't think it was as bad as it could've been. I took Nurofen before tutoring, for a headache, which dulled the pain a little. Then I had to turn to my Panadeine Forte, which I ration incredibly strictly. I should really get a referral to an orthopedic surgeon for my back pain & scoliosis; I saw one when I was 9, but haven't seen one since. Everyone goes "Oh, you have ME/CFS" ... And dismisses the pain.

A new routine?
I'm considering trying to get up each day between 11am & midday, & trying an afternoon nap to catch up on sleep, then trying to go without the nap. I'll find out which works best, because I've found sleep hygeine & sleep regimes to be a bunch of BS. They didn't help, they made me worse, or had no effect, no matter how many months I stuck at it. I've got an appointment at the gym for my personal training session on Thursday afternoon, which I can hopefully attend. I need a new pair of jeans & some t-shirts; so that's another reason to get out of the house! I'm going to try to go out as often as I can, I'm going stir-crazy without school, not being able to catch up with friends, all of the stuff that comes with ME/CFS. Even if it's just down the street to go to a cafe for a drink with my mum, that'll do. It's awful being stuck indoors. Even if there's really good shows on tv.

The 10th Doctor, gone...
Last night was the second part of the "End Of Time" specials. David Tennant's Doctor regenerated. Into Matt Smith. I am debating between giving the guy a go as a Doctor (by that, I mean 1 episode) or refusing to accept that David Tennant has left, & reliving the series on DVD. Repeatedly. I like the sound of the latter... I heard a rumour they're changing the TARDIS, to go with a changed Doctor. I'm sorry, but YOU CANNOT DO THAT!!! It's the TARDIS, the blue police box, & it will not work any other way. On a similar note, why couldn't David Tennant have stayed for another year or two? Just 'till I graduated from high school. It was nice knowing I could escape for about an hour, once a week, with an eccentric character like the 10th Doctor. (Who reminds my mother of the 4th Doctor, Tom Baker!)

Is there some comfort despite the 10th Doctor being gone?
There's supposed to be another series of Torchwood on it's way, or in the works... That's a little comfort, I guess. But Captain Jack Harkness is no 10th Doctor. Plus, after all that happened in 'Children Of Earth', how will Torchwood continue, exactly? Will it suck, like The OC after they wrote Marissa Cooper out of it? Hope not. Also, I like to consider myself as someone who isn't obsessed with looks, but... Matt Smith, 11th Doctor? Where's the quirkiness, the looks, a cool outfit? (Damn, that trenchcoat the 10th Doctor wore was so cool. I would totally wear one. If I wasn't so short, housebound & didn't live in a country that doesn't require trenchcoats!) I loved the 10th Doctor on sight. I had to take an episode or two to like the 9th Doctor, but he's still a bit too serious & military-ish for my liking. Just... I don't know if it's because I'm attached to the 10th Doctor that I hate the 11th, or it's actually because I hate the 11th. Just because. *mildly confused*

Skins. Yes, again.
At least there's still Skins. Thankfully. I finally watched episode 4 last night; it took me trying at least 10 links, none of them working past the 6 minute mark, but I tried the first link again. It worked, though it took several hours to load. I pause, then wait for the whole episode (or most of it) to load, then watch. I'm interested as to what will happen with series 5 & 6... Will they use Freddie's younger sister, & introduce her friends? The way Effy was introduced in series 1 & 2, only to become a lead character in series 3 & 4? Can't wait until series 4 comes out on DVD, or airs in Australia. It'll be in much better quality than online streaming!!

And, finally, back to ME/CFS...
I know that if I can sleep for more than an hour at a time & get 5+ hours' of sleep per night, my memory will improve, as will my ability to learn new things. This will, of course, be of immense help for my Methods exams at the end of the year. Either way, I hope to manage something around a 37 (scaled) & to do better in my Humanities & Literature subjects next year. Maybe a 40 for Lit, a 38 for Legal Studies? It all depends on my illness. I know I could get all marks in the 40's if I wasn't sick. There's no question about that. I'm sick of my life being defined & dictated by this illness that so many people see as fake. Right now, it's the lack of sleep & pain that is driving me insane. I could cope with one or the other, but they go hand-in-hand. It makes for fun times. I hope I start to improve soon. I don't know if I can get any worse, & I do not want to find out.


  1. Yep, they have changed the TARDIS. It's a revamp of the series- new Doctor, new assistant, new producer/writer.

    There's a trailer online, and they've released a promotional picture. I'm still not sure, but will give it a chance as Steven Moffat (the exective producer/writer) is a fantastic story teller. He wrote 'Blink' and also the episode set in the library.

    Here's a good link:

  2. It's so hard when people think this illness is fake. But there is a huge community of us and we believe in it/are debilitated by it so there is always hope for change.

    I am going to have to start watching Skins since you rave about it so much :P

  3. @Forgetful Girl: OMG!! THEY CHANGED THE TARDIS. That's not cool. I don't care how awesome it'll look, you don't mess with a classic. I followed the link, & have decided I will give Matt Smith 2 episodes. That's how many I gave Christopher Eccleston, (after hearing David Tennant was leaving, I rewatched, noting he was okay) & David Tennant. It's only fair to do the same for Matt Smith. Also, my mum has said she'd stop watching if they messed with the TARDIS. She got irritated when they kept updating the theme music, too. It's a classic! 'Blink' was a great episode, I like his episodes. Watched the trailer, I'll give it a go, but at least he's not grating on my nerves... Yet.

    @Annie: Agreed. I try to connect with that community on Twitter, it's helpful for finding people around my age who are sick. Particularly now that I'm doing distance education, I need socialising of any form a lot! Yes, do watch Skins! Be warned, it's not exactly clean-cut; it's rated MA15+ here, the first season is R18+. (Finally, a use for me being 18!!) Start at the begininning. I love the theme music, when I get a PC that works or a laptop without restrictions on it, I'll see if I can buy it. Plus some Rammstein, & other music I can't buy rn. Our PC is dying!

    Thanks for commenting =D It means a lot to have feedback, info, etc. ^.^

  4. Hi again. Just wanted to say that I've found pacing to be really helpful ( everyone is different!), and I've found getting up earlier in the morning to make so much of a difference to my energy levels. It was hard work getting up at 11 instead of 12 at first, but now I'm getting up at 9.30am everyday (apart from when I've had a busy day before-then it's later). Hope you find something that works for you!