Holidays!

Holidays!I finished orientation yesterday, and today is the first day of my summer holidays. Or, as it's now called "study break"... I have a tonne of holiday homework, so I'll probably end up studying a lot. Before I started orientation, though, I went stationery shopping! Here are the things I bought.



The only textbooks that were in stock: 'Stasiland',

'Aria', 'Emma' & notes for 'The Tempest'. All for Literature. =)



I got some star shaped paperclips &
a box of metallic coloured clips, too





Purple binder folder, notebook, plastic envelope and display book for Legal Studies





Matching binder folder & notebook with pink
plastic envelope and display book for Literature

 






















I got a new pacer, fluorescent sticky tabs, write on sticky tabs,
a mini stapler as well as a mini pair of scissors.

Stationery and textbooks:
I colour code all my stationery. Green is for German, blue has always been for maths, and this year I chose pink for Literature and purple for Legal Studies. The rest of my textbooks should be in soon, I ordered them a fortnight ago, and I can't study properly until I have them all. In fact, I can't do anything for Legal Studies until I have the textbook.

I've started to read 'Emma', though. I really dislike Jane Austen, and I've tried to read 'Emma' three times in the past few years, but have never persevered. I did read all of 'Pride and Prejudice'. It took all of my willpower to finish it, and I've given myself motivation to finish 'Emma' this time: I'm not allowed to read any other books until I've read it! I'm dying to read 'Stasiland', because my detailed study on the DDR and post-war Germany from 2009 will really help, plus the book looks great... But I won't. Not until I finish 'Emma'. And it's killing me to have to delay starting Shakespeare, but it's what I need to do.

Orientation:
I've got nice teachers for my subjects, and they understand my illnesses. Hopefully there won't be too much homework, but if there is, they should let me do less. I work best when only the necessary tasks are compulsory, so there's less pressure on me. But that's not until next year! I'm part time at school, still, and my Literature class is really small; there's only 8 of us. Legal Studies is a bigger class, and I think I'm the only one who didn't do it in Year 11. It's not worrying me too much, though, as it's not very difficult. There's just quite a lot to memorise.

I feel a lot happier and more motivated now that I'm back at school. Every time I say to a doctor how ill I am, or how much pain I get after a full day of school, they suggest I drop out. I'll never drop out, ever. This is my reason to get up each day, and to keep pushing through the pain and exhaustion, and every doctor suggests I give it up. Well, I won't. I've lost too much already, and it's ridiculous to "listen to your body" when you're in my condition. If I did, I'd never get out of bed, and then my doctors would be even more annoyed! It's great to be at school again, though. My year level is really nice, and they've been so welcoming. I was even included in the KK, and the school captain ensured I got my circular about the Year 12 hoodie in time! Next year will be a really good year, even if I'm in pain and constantly exausted. It's my last year, and I'm determined to make the most of it.

Christmas...
We put up our Christmas tree on December 1st, as we do every year. I took a picture on my iPhone:

Our Christmas tree with all the decorations on!
We've got to get some more lights. One pack isn't enough.

I've never got what I truly want for Christmas: I want to be healthy. I want there to suddenly be a cure for all my spoonie friends, so no one ever has to suffer. I'll take the next best thing, though: an improvement in my health. I'd love that, especially if it helps me complete high school! I usually just get things to make my life a bit easier - an iTunes voucher so I can buy more music for days when I'm in bed, or DVDs to watch, or, when I was healthier, art supplies and sewing supplies. Things like that.

Small things make me really happy, though. Sometimes it's just being remembered, which sounds odd, but if you're part time at school, people often forget about you, so it's things like being included in a KK, girls inviting me to walk with them at lunch, or my extended family understanding my illnesses and actually asking how I am, visiting me in hospital, or calling me. (But that doesn't happen. People get tired of the chronically ill, but they never think that I'm sick of being sick!)

One thing I've taken from my experiences with people and my illnesses is that family won't always be there, so you need to build a support network of close friends, ones who'll always be there, no matter what. I'm working on that, but it's so hard to keep friends if you can't do what "normal" teenagers do!

Thanks for reading, and I hope I'll be able to post a bit more regularly over the holidays. My laptop has been completely reimaged and restored, so now it runs brilliantly... I've also got Windows 7 now! Leave a comment if you feel like it! =)

New things!

New things!

Doona, doona cover and more:

Close up of the pattern.

My doona, doona cover,
matching pillow case & teal runner.

 

Yesterday I went out and got a new doona cover, it's navy blue/royal blue, with an aqua stripe surrounding the patterned part of it. I got a new doona to go with it, it's goosedown, but I think it's hypoallergernic. I'm prone to allergies, and mine have been flaring up lately, even though it's winter. It's meant to be a super warm doona, and I guess I'll find out if that's true tonight! Despite the fact I have a single bed, I got a double bed doona and doona cover, so I'll be extra warm, and it'll fit properly/cover more of the bed. Single bed doonas have never fit properly, in my experience!

  

This is the teal blanket/runner, on top of my old doona.

I got a runner to go on top of the doona, as decoration, because it actually brings out the different blues, etc. in my doona cover. It's hard to tell with iPhone pictures, but it's a teal colour, and it's silky/shiny. It's also something extra to keep me warm!

'Skins' series 4.

New DVDs!

I went to JB Hi-Fi afterwards, because I wanted to see if they had the most recent series of 'Skins', series 4. (It's on SBS at the moment, but I watched it online, as it airs a lot earlier in Britain. I saw the series finale back in March!) They did, which is great, because now I don't have to record it on the Foxtel iQ anymore. I can just lie in bed with my laptop and watch it!

I also picked up a DVD for mum, it's called 'The Hunger', and it's a vampire film with David Bowie. An old one, because Mum's been looking for a copy for ages. I can't wait to see it!

I had a quick look to see if there were any singles from my favourite bands, but no luck. I've yet to find a single besides 'Mr. Brightside' in any CD store!

The life of a spoonie: where to put all those medications?!

Already full with meds!

A month or so ago, (I think a few days before my reunion) I went into Sportsgirl, and had a look at their cosmetic bags. I bought one, not for make up or nail polish, but for my medications! It holds most of them, but I may need a larger one!

  

Smiggle: matching, scented stationery fixes everything!

I tweeted about going to Smiggle before my haircut last week. I went partially because I love to look at what's in the store, but also because I had a rewards card to redeem. Well, here's what I bought:

6 fruit scented highlighters

3 fineliners with ink that doesn't
seep through: aqua, pink & black

I bought a pencil case, too. It's got two outside sections, one with mesh that closes with a zip, and the other fabric that also closes with a zip. The middle is opened with a zip, and it expands so it can hold my calculator on one side, (it's divided internally by a thin mesh/net zip section) and the other side can hold my scented pens, etc.

The internal compartments are ideal for holding my medications for school next year; it's a lot more practical than carry around lots of pill containers, and some people are odd about others needing to take medication. I have no idea why! It's subtle, anyway.

I use the external mesh zip section for my ruler and fineliners, and the external fabric zip section for my pacers, pens, liquid paper pens and eraser.

Fabric zip section.

Mesh zip section

And finally:

There's one thing I can't live without: my hair straightener! Since I got my hair cut short last year, it's no longer an option to tie it up in a bun when it's wet, and leave it there if I can't be bothered drying and straightening it. I can't even put it in a ponytail when it's dry; it's too short! So I'm addicted to my hair straightener. Even if I look awful, haven't slept and feel like a zombie, at least my hair isn't a wreck!

I just wish it wasn't so tiring. I have to wash it every second day, and use dry shampoo on my fringe in between. When it was longer, I could leave it until every third or fourth day, and in hospital, once it was washed, I could put it in a high bun, and leave it there until it next needed washing. That's why I'm going to start growing it again after school photos next year. (I want my hair to look it's best then, as our school photo goes up on a big screen at graduation.) I know this hairstyle suits me, but it will save me so much time and energy when I can just dry and straighten my fringe, and leave the rest of my hair up. I miss long hair!

My GHD hair straightener.

I hope you liked this edited post; it's not exactly a coherent theme, but there are a lot of pictures to break it up a little. Please let me know if you'd like to see more or less of something, or something new entirely! Alex. xoxo

Brain fog and study don't mix.

Study:
Yesterday afternoon I had maths tutoring from 2.15pm - 5pm. And it went well; my tutor understood that sometimes I'd zone out, or need things revised because of the pain I was in, but overall I grasped all the concepts from Week 3. (Integration.) It was the homework that was difficult. My calculator (a TI-89 Titanium) wouldn't co-operate for a graphing question that HAD to be done on the calculator, so I skipped that question entirely after fiddling with the 'window' settings for 20 minutes. I think by the time I'd started my homework, I was in so much pain (back pain as well as the pain from my braces) and so brain dead that I really wasn't in the best condition to be doing calculus. I had to read the questions 3 times before I understood them, and I'd confuse a) with c) and have to start all over again! I finally finished at around 7.30pm, and the homework is sitting in an envelope, addressed and ready to be mailed to my teacher tomorrow. Yes, I could try again another day, but I work best when the mathematical concepts are fresh in my mind - even if my mind is full of 'fog'. Besides, I hate making mistakes, or realising that I've made them. I always think I should have done better, even if I get an A+. But because it's maths, I'm just going to settle for an end-of-year pass mark. I can't fail, or else I won't be able to get into Accounting. (I'm desperate to study Arts, then Law, but if I'm still really sick... A safe government job is what I should go for.) So my week is pretty much free until I have tutoring again next Saturday!

Sleep/insomnia.
I guess I thought I would sleep after studying for so long, being in so much pain all day, for days (which is exhausting) and washing, drying and straightening my hair (an exhausting task, which must be done every second day.) But I didn't sleep well. My younger brother was so hyper, he was banging on the bedroom walls and yelling until late at night (11.40pm) so even if I'd been able to go to bed at 10.30pm, I would've just become really stressed and felt sicker. I woke at 1am and 3.40am, and then slept fitfully until 6am. I have a really sore throat today, and have had one since I woke at 3.40am, so I got up at 6.30am to get ice cream! And then I got chills, then I felt like I was running a fever.

I'm just really not feeling well, and I think that the lack of sleep is making me sick. I've been up since 6.30am, pretty much, just lying down in between. I'm really nauseous, but can't take Ondansetron because it's being rationed for days when I'm doing something. (Like yesterday - study.) I did manage to change my bed linen today, but I've pretty much used up all my energy. And it's not even 1pm yet! I've spent a lot of time on my iPhone; on Tumblr, Twitter, and Facebook. That's basically my life: the internet and study. I stayed out of bed from 11am yesterday, and went to bed at 11pm, but I still slept terribly. I really think this "sleep hygeine" is useless for me. I'm going to nap if I can soon, because I feel really sick, and there's just not enough that I can do to keep myself occupied!

Comment if you have any suggestions for ways to use my time (NOT STUDY!!) or just want to say 'hi' ... I'm missing the comments! Thanks for reading!

Shopping & Twilight

Shopping
So, yesterday I went shopping. I found a blazer on Friday in Portmans after I'd had my hair cut, but they only had a size six. And I'm not a size six, so they put a size ten and twelve on hold at another store in a nearby shopping centre. I managed to go yesterday, as they wouldn't hold it any longer, and the size ten fits (almost) perfectly! I just have to get the sleeves altered; they are too long. I never fit anything properly, and I can never buy shoes. (Unless they're runners, generally Chucks, or Havaianas.) Apparently girls with size 3 feet don't exist. Anyway, Mum talked me into trying on some nice tops (that weren't t-shirts for a change) while I was there, and I found two that I really loved, as well as a necklace to go with the outfit!

I just need to get a bag, and then I've actually got an outfit I can wear to more formal occasions. Until now, my whole wardrobe consisted of jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and tracksuit pants. (For when I'm too sick/in too much pain to put on and/or wear jeans, or need to exercise.) One top is a black lace one, and I'm going to wear a black camisole/tank top under it, obviously. The other top is sort of a dark purple, and it's really pretty. Yes, I'm great at describing things, aren't I?! Um, the blazer is sort of "tuxedo-inspired" (apparently) and it's black.

Twilight
For those of you who are my friends on Facebook or who follow me on Twitter, you may know that I'd been planning an outing with an old friend (our parents met when we were babies!) to see the movie 'Twilight: Eclipse'. I'm not a fan of romances, for instance, I love Shakespeare, but really strongly disliked 'Romeo & Juliet', which was sadly the first Shakespearean play we did in English at school. That was back in Year 9. (In Year 10 we studied 'Macbeth', and in Year 11 we studied 'Othello'. I loved both. Some people thought that was odd.)

Anyway, Mum rented the first two 'Twilight' movies for me last week, so I could catch up, as I wasn't well enough to get to a bookstore. The first one was alright, the second was worse, and the third, which I saw with my friend, was probably my favourite. There were some funny lines, but the last film we saw together was a James Bond movie at Gold Class, with Starlight. That was my choice! So that might give you a clue as to my interests when it comes to movies. I also don't like people messing with the classics. Don't mess with 'Dracula', okay, people?! I don't like my vampires sparkly and feeding off animals! Speaking of 'Dracula', I love the book, and the film. (I don't know which particular version I have, I should check sometime.)

I had a great time, and I was even well enough to wear lip gloss. (The last time I wore make-up was at my Year 11 formal!) Well, I actually wanted to look nice. I didn't want to look like a vampire, being pale and all, but considering that Edward seems to wear lipstick, I probably ended up looking more like a vampire than ever! I really hope that there are some good movies coming out over the next few months, I really want to catch up with this friend again. She even likes 'Doctor Who' now!! Awesome. (I hadn't seen her since March last year, so people can change a lot in that amount of time!)

It was a fundraiser for a charity/support group for adolescents with chronic illnesses - I've been a member since I was in Year 8 (age 14) but I haven't been able to go to any of the socials or camps because they're not designed for spoonies. Things like ropes courses, swimming, rock climbing, indoor sports centres (wheelchair friendly) have been the reasons I've missed out. It's been so long, in fact, that we've now got a new co-ordinator (again) and I only recognised two of the people there. They still remembered me! I had a brilliant time, and I love going out. There was a bookstore next to the movie theatre, and I got super excited, because they had the definitive edition of 'The Diary Of Anne Frank'. Which I mistook for the critical edition. Can I just say that it sucks, because I still have to order it in from the US. Hopefully it's not so expensive anymore, otherwise I'll have to wait until Christmas. *extremelysadface*

Sleep (or lack thereof)
My sleep pattern has gone crazy. I go to bed between 10.30pm and 11.40pm each night, am generally asleep by midnight at the latest, and wake at 2.30am or 3am every night without fail. I stay awake for hours, usually falling asleep again around 7am. But it's now past 8am, and I have not slept since 3am. So I think I might try to sleep until 3pm. I don't care what it supposedly does to one's sleep pattern, I just can't keep using Ondansetron because my crazy, stupid body won't let me sleep! Right now I'm really craving a bagel. We get our milk home-delivered, and you can order other things like eggs, bread, and bagels. I have recently discovered sesame bagels, and love them! They're perfect for when I feel sick, but have to eat. But back to the sleep. Because this new sleep pattern only started about 10 days ago, I figure that if I continue to go to bed at around 11pm nightly, and avoid naps, it should right itself, so that I can start to get up earlier each day. (No earlier than 11am. That's just a waste of rest time, and the only advantage of distance education!) I'm still not sleepy. I have no idea what is wrong with my body clock, because I am really starting to feel sick now.

Braces. Again.
So, on Tuesday afternoon I'm having my braces put on. Yay! NOT. I am really not looking forward to the pain, and I couldn't get an appointment with my G.P. until Wednesday evening, so I'm going to have to use lots of OTC painkillers to manage. (Last time I got both top and bottom sets of braces on at once, and I was on a liquid diet for a month. I couldn't chew! I'd tear my sandwiches into pieces, then swallow them whole. I was 12, and it was much less painful having four teeth removed under general anesthetic than it was to have braces.) I'd rather have the painkillers I got when I had those teeth pulled than Panadeine Forte! IDK what they put in my drip, but it was effective. I couldn't feel my lip for two days! (It was quite funny.) I'm hoping because I am only getting braces on the top set of teeth, and on a much smaller section, that the pain will be a lot less, but I really don't know. I have an incredibly low pain threshold. I just hope I can still get things done this week. Like get a bag to go with that outfit, or see my grandmother, or even study, because I have tutoring this Saturday. And it's the last week of the holidays. *sigh*

Thanks for reading, comment if you want, I'm sure you know by now that I love comments!

A lovely surprise!

I've been nominated for a "One Lovely Blog Award" by Dominique... Her blog is here: http://www.4wallsandaview.com/ Thanks heaps, I really appreciate it!

In order to receive this award (I found this information from Dominique's blog) I have to:

• Accept the award
• Pass the award on to 15 other blogs that you've newly discovered (if possible)
• Remember to contact the other bloggers to let them know they've been chosen for this award.

I'm not sure how many blogs I follow, but these are the ones I am nominating for the award:

• It's Time To Get Over How Fragile You Are - by Annie. http://www.fragileannie.com/ She blogs practically every day, and I find each post interesting, inspiring, or just something I can really relate to.
• Lemon Butter - by Natalie. http://www.lemon-butter.blogspot.com/ Natalie blogs a lot more frequently than I do, as well, and it's a change from the normal spoonie blogs I read. It's a way for me to find out what's in fashion, but it gives me hope that I might recover; Natalie has/had severe M.E., too.
• ME/CFS and XMRV - by Emma-Kate. http://www.cfsandxmrv.blogspot.com/ Emma-Kate explains the latest news, findings and reports about ME/CFS and the retrovirus, XMRV. It's a great way to keep up with what's been happening, and the blog is brilliantly written and impeccably referenced.
• My Life as I "StandUP2ME" - http://www.standup2me.blogspot.com/ This blog is about the latest happenings with ME/CFS, the WPI and more.
• 4Walls And A View - http://www.4wallsandaview.com/ by Dominique, the lovely person who nominated me for this award. I've only recently started to have a look at her blog, and I think it is beautifully written, and I can relate to a lot of the M.E. related posts. (As I can with most spoonie blogs!)
• How Can I Explain It To You? The Life Of A Grad Student With Lupus. - http://www.gradstudentwithlupus.wordpress.com/ I can really relate to a lot of the posts, and I am hoping that it will give me an idea of what uni will be like for someone with a chronic illness. It's a really good feeling for me when I read something and think "I know what that feels like" because it means I'm not alone, and that's what a lot of these blogs do for me. As well as providing inspiration, etc.

They are all genuinely nice and lovely people. As a happy coincidence, all of these bloggers have Twitter, too! So I can see when they've updated their blogs just by checking their tweets, although Emma-Kate hasn't been on Twitter in quite a while.

I try to read these blogs when I can, but I am often kept to reading short blog entries, like those on Annie's blog. I used to spend hours on Emma-Kate's blog, and the blog 'My Life As I "StandUP2ME"' but lately I've been too fatigued and brain dead! I wish there were 15 blogs I could find to recommend, but I'm exhausted already! Now to notify the bloggers!!

If anyone has any spoonie blogs (eg. M.E. or Fibromyalgia blogs, particularly those of teens/young adults) that they'd recommend, please let me know. But I'm always happy to check out any blogs, when I have the ability!