Shopping
So, yesterday I went shopping. I found a blazer on Friday in Portmans after I'd had my hair cut, but they only had a size six. And I'm not a size six, so they put a size ten and twelve on hold at another store in a nearby shopping centre. I managed to go yesterday, as they wouldn't hold it any longer, and the size ten fits (almost) perfectly! I just have to get the sleeves altered; they are too long. I never fit anything properly, and I can never buy shoes. (Unless they're runners, generally Chucks, or Havaianas.) Apparently girls with size 3 feet don't exist. Anyway, Mum talked me into trying on some nice tops (that weren't t-shirts for a change) while I was there, and I found two that I really loved, as well as a necklace to go with the outfit!
I just need to get a bag, and then I've actually got an outfit I can wear to more formal occasions. Until now, my whole wardrobe consisted of jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and tracksuit pants. (For when I'm too sick/in too much pain to put on and/or wear jeans, or need to exercise.) One top is a black lace one, and I'm going to wear a black camisole/tank top under it, obviously. The other top is sort of a dark purple, and it's really pretty. Yes, I'm great at describing things, aren't I?! Um, the blazer is sort of "tuxedo-inspired" (apparently) and it's black.
Twilight
For those of you who are my friends on Facebook or who follow me on Twitter, you may know that I'd been planning an outing with an old friend (our parents met when we were babies!) to see the movie 'Twilight: Eclipse'. I'm not a fan of romances, for instance, I love Shakespeare, but really strongly disliked 'Romeo & Juliet', which was sadly the first Shakespearean play we did in English at school. That was back in Year 9. (In Year 10 we studied 'Macbeth', and in Year 11 we studied 'Othello'. I loved both. Some people thought that was odd.)
Anyway, Mum rented the first two 'Twilight' movies for me last week, so I could catch up, as I wasn't well enough to get to a bookstore. The first one was alright, the second was worse, and the third, which I saw with my friend, was probably my favourite. There were some funny lines, but the last film we saw together was a James Bond movie at Gold Class, with Starlight. That was my choice! So that might give you a clue as to my interests when it comes to movies. I also don't like people messing with the classics. Don't mess with 'Dracula', okay, people?! I don't like my vampires sparkly and feeding off animals! Speaking of 'Dracula', I love the book, and the film. (I don't know which particular version I have, I should check sometime.)
I had a great time, and I was even well enough to wear lip gloss. (The last time I wore make-up was at my Year 11 formal!) Well, I actually wanted to look nice. I didn't want to look like a vampire, being pale and all, but considering that Edward seems to wear lipstick, I probably ended up looking more like a vampire than ever! I really hope that there are some good movies coming out over the next few months, I really want to catch up with this friend again. She even likes 'Doctor Who' now!! Awesome. (I hadn't seen her since March last year, so people can change a lot in that amount of time!)
It was a fundraiser for a charity/support group for adolescents with chronic illnesses - I've been a member since I was in Year 8 (age 14) but I haven't been able to go to any of the socials or camps because they're not designed for spoonies. Things like ropes courses, swimming, rock climbing, indoor sports centres (wheelchair friendly) have been the reasons I've missed out. It's been so long, in fact, that we've now got a new co-ordinator (again) and I only recognised two of the people there. They still remembered me! I had a brilliant time, and I love going out. There was a bookstore next to the movie theatre, and I got super excited, because they had the definitive edition of 'The Diary Of Anne Frank'. Which I mistook for the critical edition. Can I just say that it sucks, because I still have to order it in from the US. Hopefully it's not so expensive anymore, otherwise I'll have to wait until Christmas. *extremelysadface*
Sleep (or lack thereof)
My sleep pattern has gone crazy. I go to bed between 10.30pm and 11.40pm each night, am generally asleep by midnight at the latest, and wake at 2.30am or 3am every night without fail. I stay awake for hours, usually falling asleep again around 7am. But it's now past 8am, and I have not slept since 3am. So I think I might try to sleep until 3pm. I don't care what it supposedly does to one's sleep pattern, I just can't keep using Ondansetron because my crazy, stupid body won't let me sleep! Right now I'm really craving a bagel. We get our milk home-delivered, and you can order other things like eggs, bread, and bagels. I have recently discovered sesame bagels, and love them! They're perfect for when I feel sick, but have to eat. But back to the sleep. Because this new sleep pattern only started about 10 days ago, I figure that if I continue to go to bed at around 11pm nightly, and avoid naps, it should right itself, so that I can start to get up earlier each day. (No earlier than 11am. That's just a waste of rest time, and the only advantage of distance education!) I'm still not sleepy. I have no idea what is wrong with my body clock, because I am really starting to feel sick now.
Braces. Again.
So, on Tuesday afternoon I'm having my braces put on. Yay! NOT. I am really not looking forward to the pain, and I couldn't get an appointment with my G.P. until Wednesday evening, so I'm going to have to use lots of OTC painkillers to manage. (Last time I got both top and bottom sets of braces on at once, and I was on a liquid diet for a month. I couldn't chew! I'd tear my sandwiches into pieces, then swallow them whole. I was 12, and it was much less painful having four teeth removed under general anesthetic than it was to have braces.) I'd rather have the painkillers I got when I had those teeth pulled than Panadeine Forte! IDK what they put in my drip, but it was effective. I couldn't feel my lip for two days! (It was quite funny.) I'm hoping because I am only getting braces on the top set of teeth, and on a much smaller section, that the pain will be a lot less, but I really don't know. I have an incredibly low pain threshold. I just hope I can still get things done this week. Like get a bag to go with that outfit, or see my grandmother, or even study, because I have tutoring this Saturday. And it's the last week of the holidays. *sigh*
Thanks for reading, comment if you want, I'm sure you know by now that I love comments!
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies. Show all posts
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
'Alice In Wonderland'
'Alice In Wonderland'
Yesterday I finally got out of the house, & went to see 'Alice In Wonderland' with a friend I met during my August admission to hospital last year. I thought it was a great film & the special effects were amazing. Johnny Depp was brilliant as the Mad Hatter... He does mad so well! I thought the actress who played Alice did a really good job, too, although her face was a little emotionless or blank at times. I didn't see it in 3D - it gives my mum & younger brother migraines, & made me sick the last time I saw anything in 3D. It was amazing to go out with someone around my age, instead of being stuck inside, or only going out to get clothes with my mum. Hopefully I can do it again sometime soon, I know that today I'm really achey & tired.
19 today...
Today was my 19th birthday. To be honest, I don't feel any older, but I think that might be because I haven't had a chance to be a teenager. My life pretty much stopped at 13. I can't even get my learner's permit; because of the years of sleep problems/deprivation, I could fall asleep at the wheel. Then there's the part where I can't focus on Methods some days, never mind a road with multiple distractions, plus learning to drive. I think if you wait until you're 21 to try for your learner's, the whole process of getting your license is fast-tracked considerably. So I might just do that, unless I magically improve. This has been my worst birthday... ever. The last time I was this sick was when I was 14, bed-bound or hospitalised. All my friends are at uni, & I'm stuck here, doing distance education. Things suck at home, too. (I'm not going to talk about it here.) ... I don't want to get any older. There's no point. I just get older & have nothing to show for it. I've really had it with ME/CFS. I never thought I'd get this bad, again.
Presents...
I'd asked for it not to be a birthday this year, so no presents, or cake, etc. But my mum went ahead & got me an iTunes voucher, 2 really pretty pill containers (they have flowers on them, each is a different shade of blue) & a voucher for my local shopping centre, so I can spend it at any store! Oh, & a Kinder Surprise egg. I used to love those when I was little!! My brother got me an iTunes voucher, too, & they both wrote really lovely things in the cards. My father couldn't have forgotten it was my birthday, but took a sheet of A4 paper, folded it in half, wrote 'Happy Birthday' on the front, & said he knew I'd get better, because I was so determined, & that he was sorry he couldn't help. I wasn't annoyed about the fact that he could've got me a card, or a present, (I asked for a happy, argument free day, which didn't happen) it was that he didn't realise that he can help. By reducing the stress. I say it every week. I guess you can't get through to some people. My half-brother from Germany also got me a present. It's a German picture-story book. I will find the energy to figure out what it says; translating the birthday card was tiring enough! (It's got a lot of words...)
Doctor's appointment
My specialist thinks things will improve dramatically as soon as I stop stressing & stop having panic attacks. (Should that read: "being put under so much stress"?) She also thinks that my back pain will be fixed by me sitting up straight. Which is BS, although I'm trying it, purely to prove her wrong, AGAIN. That's what she said when I was 14, so I improved my posture by 15, but when I get worse, my posture gets worse. I literally do not have the strength to hold myself upright. I've exhausted all my options for pain relief, & my scoliosis is still "mild"... But I just wish someone would listen when I say "The only thing that stopped this pain was an injection of morphine when I was 9 years old. The pain disappeared for months, only to reappear the following year, & worsen as my ME/CFS worsened. Uninterrupted sleep is the only thing that helps." She laughed when I explained I was worried about being sick & dependent on the disability pension in 20 years' time. It's not funny, but she thinks it's ridiculous I should worry about my future. If I've seen all the specialists, tried all the regimes, & nothing has helped, not to mention the fact that my specialist admits she doesn't know what to do anymore, why shouldn't I worry? I'm not getting better. I wanted a life, I wanted to go to uni & study Law. Now I might just be stuck in this house forever.
Finally...
I guess that's it. A pretty depressing post, but there isn't much to my life anymore. It all gets consumed by ME/CFS. I haven't even finished last week's Methods homework, & my tutor might assign me more via Facebook to make up for the fact we couldn't have a session this weekend. I might check if Skins has loaded yet. I think it's the series final.
Yesterday I finally got out of the house, & went to see 'Alice In Wonderland' with a friend I met during my August admission to hospital last year. I thought it was a great film & the special effects were amazing. Johnny Depp was brilliant as the Mad Hatter... He does mad so well! I thought the actress who played Alice did a really good job, too, although her face was a little emotionless or blank at times. I didn't see it in 3D - it gives my mum & younger brother migraines, & made me sick the last time I saw anything in 3D. It was amazing to go out with someone around my age, instead of being stuck inside, or only going out to get clothes with my mum. Hopefully I can do it again sometime soon, I know that today I'm really achey & tired.
19 today...
Today was my 19th birthday. To be honest, I don't feel any older, but I think that might be because I haven't had a chance to be a teenager. My life pretty much stopped at 13. I can't even get my learner's permit; because of the years of sleep problems/deprivation, I could fall asleep at the wheel. Then there's the part where I can't focus on Methods some days, never mind a road with multiple distractions, plus learning to drive. I think if you wait until you're 21 to try for your learner's, the whole process of getting your license is fast-tracked considerably. So I might just do that, unless I magically improve. This has been my worst birthday... ever. The last time I was this sick was when I was 14, bed-bound or hospitalised. All my friends are at uni, & I'm stuck here, doing distance education. Things suck at home, too. (I'm not going to talk about it here.) ... I don't want to get any older. There's no point. I just get older & have nothing to show for it. I've really had it with ME/CFS. I never thought I'd get this bad, again.
Presents...
I'd asked for it not to be a birthday this year, so no presents, or cake, etc. But my mum went ahead & got me an iTunes voucher, 2 really pretty pill containers (they have flowers on them, each is a different shade of blue) & a voucher for my local shopping centre, so I can spend it at any store! Oh, & a Kinder Surprise egg. I used to love those when I was little!! My brother got me an iTunes voucher, too, & they both wrote really lovely things in the cards. My father couldn't have forgotten it was my birthday, but took a sheet of A4 paper, folded it in half, wrote 'Happy Birthday' on the front, & said he knew I'd get better, because I was so determined, & that he was sorry he couldn't help. I wasn't annoyed about the fact that he could've got me a card, or a present, (I asked for a happy, argument free day, which didn't happen) it was that he didn't realise that he can help. By reducing the stress. I say it every week. I guess you can't get through to some people. My half-brother from Germany also got me a present. It's a German picture-story book. I will find the energy to figure out what it says; translating the birthday card was tiring enough! (It's got a lot of words...)
Doctor's appointment
My specialist thinks things will improve dramatically as soon as I stop stressing & stop having panic attacks. (Should that read: "being put under so much stress"?) She also thinks that my back pain will be fixed by me sitting up straight. Which is BS, although I'm trying it, purely to prove her wrong, AGAIN. That's what she said when I was 14, so I improved my posture by 15, but when I get worse, my posture gets worse. I literally do not have the strength to hold myself upright. I've exhausted all my options for pain relief, & my scoliosis is still "mild"... But I just wish someone would listen when I say "The only thing that stopped this pain was an injection of morphine when I was 9 years old. The pain disappeared for months, only to reappear the following year, & worsen as my ME/CFS worsened. Uninterrupted sleep is the only thing that helps." She laughed when I explained I was worried about being sick & dependent on the disability pension in 20 years' time. It's not funny, but she thinks it's ridiculous I should worry about my future. If I've seen all the specialists, tried all the regimes, & nothing has helped, not to mention the fact that my specialist admits she doesn't know what to do anymore, why shouldn't I worry? I'm not getting better. I wanted a life, I wanted to go to uni & study Law. Now I might just be stuck in this house forever.
Finally...
I guess that's it. A pretty depressing post, but there isn't much to my life anymore. It all gets consumed by ME/CFS. I haven't even finished last week's Methods homework, & my tutor might assign me more via Facebook to make up for the fact we couldn't have a session this weekend. I might check if Skins has loaded yet. I think it's the series final.
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