I'm back!

I suppose everyone wants to know how the reunion went:
It was an afternoon tea, and the food looked lovely, but I didn't feel like eating because I'd eaten already that day and I have braces. I didn't want to have food stuck in them the whole time, it's awful when that happens!

I was nervous beforehand, as I hadn't really seen anyone my age except a very close friend, and that was once in the past year. (We saw 'Twilight' together this year, had a sleepover last March, and saw a James Bond movie the year before.)

As soon as I found the people I knew best, I felt a lot more at ease. Everyone complemented me on my outfit, and everyone loved the necklace. One my friends, the closest I had at school, was suprised I wore nail polish (never have, even for a formal) but she thought the black nail polish looked cool, although a little "emo". =p This was clarified by me saying I still am obsessed with The Killers, Oasis and Franz Ferdinand!!

I mingled a bit, although it was difficult at times, as different groups of kids see each other at uni daily, and go to concerts and parties as well as having a ritual of a weekly coffee and a weekly breakfast. So I was a bit out of place, but everyone was so nice! I haven't received so many complements since I got my hair and makeup done professionally for my formal in 2008. (I also had my dress and shoes custom-made; I was too ill to shop, and they don't make size 3 or 4 formal shoes! I've grown out of nearly all kids' shoes, and can't fit into womens until I reach a size 6. It really makes shopping difficult, especially as I can no longer get away with Chucks. More and more formal occasions appear as I get older. If only my feet were a size 6!!)

Everyone had lots of tips on how to cope with maths, and the main theme was: "You will suprise yourself on your exam day." Other tips included: "Work with a group, or for you, your tutor, right up until before the exam, and make sure you revise everything you can!" and "Something you haven't understood all year may suddenly become apparent in the week before the exam; it happened to me!" also "Take detailed notes, but DO NOT rely on them too much." ... The best of all: "God, Alex, it's just MATHS!! It's so difficult, and you only need a pass mark to get into Accounting. It was so hard that I dropped it after two weeks!" This really cheered me up. When I told my friend, who did this maths in Year 11 (she's so smart!) about my SAC marks, she said that as long as I maintain a 'B' average, I should be absolutely fine.

Nearly everyone was so nice! There was this one girl who's always had a problem with me, IDK why! She was 'shooting daggers' at me, or perhaps a better description, 'giving me the evil eye' ... She is very ill, and I'm not sure it's just physical. She's been abusive/bullying at school, and I had the misfortune of being in the same ward as her last hospital admission.  I had to speak to the head nurse, and ask that she be kept away from me as she would just fly into a rage and insult, bully, etc. God knows why. Perhaps the poor thing has a mental problem. It does not seem to be physical; she was in the ED section, and the psychiatrists came to see her. Normally it's just a psychologist who checks in on you, basically to see how you're coping with your hospitalisation and illness/illnesses. Who holds on to a grudge from 2004-2010?! I really think the poor girl has some serious problems. (I didn't mean to sound rude or bitchy, I just honestly think she needs help. When someone is diagnosed with any type of invisible illness, after years of detesting the invisibly ill, they usually feel empathy for those in their situation. This girl feels rage instead, which is so sad. It drains energy, as I well know!)

But the reunion was not all about this girl! Not at all!! I just ignored her immature behaviour, and concentrated on enjoying the afternoon tea.

I caught up with a friend who has a disorder that causes her bones to form incorrectly, so she just underwent an operation to break both of her femurs. So she understood my embarrassment at having to use a bath seat, or finding a task like brushing your hair exhausting and painful, as well as how difficult it is to lose your independence and have to rely on others. She was in a walking frame for months, then crutches, but now she is back to driving and living a normal, virtually pain-free life. I'm so happy for her. I do wish illnesses like M.E. and Fibromyalgia were as simple to fix!

It was also a relief to tell my closest friends about my parent's separation. They were so understanding, and kind.

I hope to keep in touch with them, but it seems unlikely as by the time I graduate high school in 2011, they will be in their 2nd year of uni. I won't be in their classes, and I was absent from school so frequently that I have been unable to form solid friendships; the sort that last for years. Perhaps I will form some of these friendships at uni.



I hope you liked my post, it is past 3am, but Blogger is finally working! Please let me know if there are any things you'd like to know about my reunion! 

My new outfit!

Outfit: so here are the pics!

This is the top I plan on wearing, black lace with either a black tank top underneath, or a black long sleeved t-shirt, depending on the weather, also with the pretty necklace. (Right.)

  

Another top, it's a dark purply colour, but you can't really tell with iPhone pics, it's also silk, I think, and is loose. Handy for days when I'm in pain and want to wear loose clothes. Hence the choice of two tops. Anyways, here it is. (Left.)

This is the blazer I've been talking about for a long time! "Tuxedo-inspired" and it's actually pretty comfortable for someone who is used to hoodies! (Right.)

  

 I'll wear my darkish blue bootleg jeans with these Chucks. (Left.)

And this is the aforementioned bag that I'll be taking. (Right.)  

Where did I shop?

Okay, the two tops, blazer and necklace are from Portmans, while the Chucks are from a Converse, etc. shoe store, at a factory outlet shopping centre. =)

My reunion:

I'm excited about it; of course it will be really, incredibly difficult seeing how everyone I knew so well has moved on to uni, etc. and I'm stuck at home. I can't even say I'm at that school this year! But I'm really getting sick of being in the house, with my family all the time. I can't wait to see my .. friends? Is that what they are now, or because they've moved on without me, are they acquaintances? But, anyways, it'll be great to get "dressed up" (for me!) and go out, even just for an afternoon tea. But, really, I'm wondering if the fact I'm so excited and anxious about my reunion is affecting my sleep. Oh well, it will all be over soon, until the 5 year reunion!

Feedback!

I've received comments on my Facebook and Twitter accounts about my new Chucks (both the pink glittery ones and the black sparkly ones) as well as my new bag, but no one's seen my new tops or blazer as yet, so, as always: I welcome feedback!

Take care. xoxo

Braces

Braces:
I got my braces on last week, on Tuesday afternoon. And it didn't hurt... For a few hours. Then it was absolutely agonising. And it still is. The orthodontist and assistants are all really nice, and they explain what they're going to do before they do it, and they warn me if something might be painful! This is all new for me, my last orthodontist thought braces were a "pain-free" procedure, but it would be hard to eat steak for the first week. She obviously never had braces, or met people with different pain thresholds!

I'm on Panadeine Forte for the pain, which, as bloody always, does almost nothing. On the upside, it means I can open my mouth enough to eat rice, but apart from coconut rice, I'm basically living off jelly, ice cream, and anything soft that doesn't require chewing. I take Mersyndol before bed and when I wake at 3am, because it's supposed to help you sleep. It didn't when I last had braces, and it isn't this time! Still, it means the Panadeine Forte will last longer, because I don't know how long I'll be in pain.

The pain is keeping me awake at night. I've been waking at 3am every single night since I got these braces, and today, I haven't got back to sleep yet. And I have to get up at 12.45pm for maths tutoring. I'm really not looking forward to it; it's hard for me to concentrate at the best of times, but when I'm in overwhelming pain, calculus is infinitely more difficult. I haven't been able to revise at all. The first week of the holidays I was too exhausted and busy, and this week I've been in too much pain and too sleep deprived. I really hope I can remember the basics of antidifferentiation and integration, I really don't want to waste my tutor's time revising. I feel guilty that I couldn't revise, and that I'm taking up my tutor's weekends every week...

I'm considering going to the hospital if the pain keeps up much longer. It isn't often that pain brings me to tears, but this is. On a daily basis. Also, decent pain relief (like morphine) helps you sleep, apparently. It didn't when I was 9, but, who knows? I just want to be pain free for one entire day!!!

Sleep routine:
I'm still going to bed each night between 10.30pm and 11.30pm, and I am generally asleep by midnight. I always wake at 3am, regardless of what time I got up the previous day, whether I napped, or anything else that's sleep-hygeine related. This week, it's been the pain waking me, but before that, it was a new pattern. I just hope it changes again soon. My younger brother goes back to school on Monday, so I'll be able to go to bed at 10.30pm every night and get to sleep sooner, because it will be quiet, finally. Mum has promised. I figure if I stick to a night time routine, the day time sleep will lessen - my need for it, that is, so eventually I can get up earlier. Some days I'm in bed until 4pm simply because I can't get up. I really need more sleep, at night, in order to do well this year, and to get back to school and Orientation. I'm trying my hardest, but my body is trying it's hardest to make sure I don't sleep! M.E. is the most confusing, frustrating and misunderstood illness!!

Reunion:
I have a one-year reunion for my high school coming up in about a fortnight. I've pretty much got my outfit, but I need a bag, as mentioned in a previous post, and I might get a new pair of Chucks. One day I'll be able to fit into adult's shoes. I'd wear flats, but I can only fit into one kind, that is sold at one store in one season, and last time I went, they had a size 2 (I've grown out of mine) and a size 6. Not helpful. But at least I'm relatively cheap to buy for when it comes to clothing; I fit kid's shoes a lot of the time, especially if they're runners.

I'm hoping the pain will subside enough for me to go and look for a bag and maybe get some Chucks. I know my size, and the colours I like, so it's not too energy-consuming to buy them. I'm excited about the reunion; I haven't really seen anyone since my November exams last year, and then it was only a few girls. If I'm still in pain by the reunion, which I shouldn't be, I'll eat some rice beforehand, because I doubt they'll be serving jelly, lol!!

Unfortunately, I'm seeing my specialist earlier that week, so I'll be tired from the constant battle for meds or a treatment that isn't SSRIs. I just refuse SSRIs and Melatonin; they don't work, they never have, and they won't now!

Thanks for reading, and I love reading your comments and seeing your feedback. LMK if the last post was too long, okay?